"Game of Thrones"  "The Iron Bank of Braavos" 



Hi Dorianne

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Marriage

First Impression: In the description the author wants the reader to know some marriages are easy. By the word choices, it is clear English is not your first language. No prejudice intended simply noting the stiffness of the poem.

What needs your attention: In the description, so people should be so many people make marriage look easy. There are some stanzas with sentences and others that aren't. Consistency helps. Like for the second stanza. The first two lines work well together. "Listen to what the other says
and keep cool. Avoid a heartless fight." Avoid a hearless fight is a declarative phrase not a sentence. I suggest changing it to this Listen to what the other says and keep cool to avoid a heartless fight. It matches the rest of the stanza and flows smoother.
In the third stanza any before close-mindedmess slows the pacing.
Treat in the fourth stanza doesn't feel right as it used. Simply moving the words around How you treat each.. will show a unified marriage.

What part I liked best: I sense the author believes in marriage and hopes that others do as well. The poem itself is a reminder in respect that couples should mutually show.

Overall impression: Marriage is a commitment that should not be taken lightly. Couples that have mutual respect for each other are the ones that make it look easy.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Yellow case #3


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .