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Review #4743799
Viewing a review of:
 In all I do  [E]
A short poem inspired my the music "Everywhere" by Fleetwood Mac
by Emerick - The Preacher
Review of In all I do  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello Emerick - The Preacher

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I really enjoyed this poem. "Everywhere" by Fleetwood Mac is a great song and I can definitely detect the influences while I was reading. When reading with that song in mind the cadence and style is familiar, and yet you also managed to create something completely unique that felt fresh rather than derivative. Really nice job!


*Penw* Suggestions

Each of the stanzas were great on their own, but the order confused me a bit. The first one starts with the sentiment about "finding a guide" while the third stanza is about being "lost in the maze of my own mind." The second stanza opens with "[struggling] to resist". I wonder if a bit of restructuring would be more effective, with the stanzas in the order of 3-1-2-4 or even 3-2-1-4. The poem is already great as it is, the stanzas are individually excellent; they just read a little out of sequence to me in terms of a larger narrative.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I thought this was a well-written and elegant poem. The imagery was great, as was your word choice and the structure of the individual stanzas. It might be worth looking into reordering them, but that does change the fact that it was a great read, inspired by a song that I really enjoy and could see the influences of in the piece. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jeff
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