*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743900
Review #4743900
Viewing a review of:
 
The Tale of Joe's Remote  [13+]
A satirical ballad
by Joy
Review by Jayne
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Image for Activity


This is a "Game of Thrones"  review!


Hello, Joy!

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
This is an effective use of satire and a solid take on a modern ballad.

*Checkb*Form, Rhythm, Cadence, and Style:
Thank you for providing the description of the form since it's not one I'm terribly familiar with. From what I see, the poem uses the expected stanza arrangement. It also appears to follow the correct rhyme scheme, and I can easily see it being used for a song.

The rhythm and cadence were a bit irregular, and I understand that a consistent meter is not a requirement. Since the topic and colloquial language (doodad, roly-poly) work together so well, using a more informal structure is probably more fitting. The first stanza tripped me up, but once I picked up the rhythm, I mainly progressed with no problem, though I did have to take a stab at "machismo" twice. That's probably a reader error, not a writer error.

*Checkb*Content:
You've laid the narrative out clearly and logically, and there's no doubt that the ballad is meant to be satirical. But it's hard to believe the poem is based on actual events and not a made-up story. But as they say, truth is stranger than fiction. You've done a great job highlighting the ridiculousness of the situation and the absurdity of attaching power to a simple everyday object. I think that is the most important aspect of this ballad—it is used as a ballad should be used! Taking a story and putting it into a form that can easily be passed down is an excellent use of the form.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
I didn't find any glaring errors.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
This is a very engaging poem, and your use of a traditional form with modern language and discussion is spot-on. Well done!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Jayne *Smile*


My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" 


The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/11/2024 @ 3:50pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743900