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 Review #4743941 |
 | The Smiling Rabbit  [13+] The monsters are coming.  |
  This is a "Game of Thrones" review!Hello, Abby Gayle!  Overall Impression:This story immediately pulled me into a fantasy world bordering on horror without ever stepping over the boundary. Hook and plot:There is only one word I'd use to describe your story: gripping. Between the sense of danger, the supernatural elements, and the sense of urgency that never lets up, the initial scream is undoubtedly the perfect hook. The plot's pace is fantastic! I enjoy that most of the information about the creatures is left up to the reader; anything we think of ourselves is often far scarier than a written description. It also eliminated the need for a monster backstory, but it doesn't feel like anything is missing. The backstory for everyone else was handled well, and I didn't feel like any information was shoehorned in for the sake of exposition. Characters and dialogue:These characters are fantastic, and you've done an excellent job using dialogue to develop them vividly. The dialogue is natural and effective, and Caitlin's tendency to protect and Mary's wisdom despite behaving like a 'normal' child make both girls compelling and sympathetic. Can we talk about the rabbit for a minute? That was a stroke of brilliance. While many dolls have been used in stories like this, making the rabbit a character with such power but so little ability is great. I was a bit confused about Auntie-in-the-water, but not enough to stop me from enjoying the story. I'm sure she'd be easily fleshed out with a slightly high word count so the reader could fully understand her existence. For the word count you had available, I'm fine not knowing. Grammar and Mechanics:I found nothing of note. Final Thoughts:This was a pleasure to read; compelling and satisfying. Thank you for sharing your work with us! Jayne   My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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