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The Iron Bank of Braavos  (13+) For G.o.T. Activity #1994693 by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm

"Game of Thrones"  Hello Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Brian's Night FlightFirst Impression: I was expecting to read a story of an airplane flight, or perhaps that of a hot air balloon or even a spaceship. Surprise , Brian is the one who learns he can fly. I suppose the act of flying makes perfect sense if one is sleeping. The mind tends to soar with all kinds of possibilities then in dreams. Brian is actually capable of teleporting himself I believe. He travels over his school and witnesses a devastating fire. What a frightful, yet fascinating night for Brian.What needs your attention: During the dialogue I believe you should either use a comma, not a period, before you add to the type of action. "Hello," he said as an example. Or keep the period and capitalize what follows the speaking. Two separate sentences. "I know that Mom ...I saw it." His mouth quivered as the words spilled out.What part I liked best: I like the concept of this story. A boy discovering he can fly makes for an exciting, interesting set of scenarios. I envision sequels. I like the description of his first experience.Overall Impression: This is a great tale. bRian has a unique coming of age moment. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1429 characters)DISCLAIMER: the views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.