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Review #4744150
Viewing a review of:
Sleep  []
A lantern poetry about sleep
by Elycia Lee ☮
Review of Sleep  
Review by Maryann
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*Exclaim* Hi Elycia! I was looking through your port when I came across this item. I have always been fascinated with structured poetry, so I was very happy to come across this one.

I must admit, I don't know too much about this form of poetry. Maybe I wrote one over the last twenty two years that I've been a WDC member, but anyway I had to look it up. The search engine said: "The Lanturne is a five-line verse shaped like a Japanese lantern with a syllabic pattern of one, two, three, four, one."

I didn't see that pattern here in your poem, but I recall Eyestar mentioning once during her haiku contest that sometimes poetry patterns are more relaxed and really anything goes. I guess it must be the same with this Japanese form. So, with that said, I figured this is a variation of that Lanturne form and it's all good. I did love your pretty poem, so that's why I gave it five stars.

Your poem has a delicate simplicity to it, which I love, and it is really shaped like a lantern! I think that by adding a few more words to it here and there, as you did, it gave the poem more meaning and enriched the story which it might not have been able to tell otherwise.

I like how your first line begins the story and sets the stage for what will come. You mentioned that it transforms the body, which, when I think about it, that's what sleep really does. Even the most active toddler, transforms to, 'sleep like a baby'.

The rest of your lines also tells the benefits of sleep, which I think you have expressed well, giving the restrictions you had in conforming to the lantern shape. Nice work!


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