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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744178
Review #4744178
Viewing a review of:
 Sing on Bird  [E]
Springing funny
by James A. Osteen Jr.
Review of Sing on Bird  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
House Florent Image for G.o.T.
 
GROUP
The Iron Bank of Braavos  (13+)
For G.o.T. Activity
#1994693 by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm
"Game of Thrones Hello Fellow Writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.
Title: Sing on Bird
first Impression: Who doesn't appreciate Spring and not associate bird song with its arrival? I like the rhyme in your poem. It flows nicely when read aloud. I am waiting for its imminent and anticipated arrival.
What needs your attention: "I sure hope theyre right." It should be "they're right." The final line contains a strange word. I realize when some people speak 'have to' sounds like 'haft to'. I believe it should be in italics or quotation marks to signify it is a colloquialism. Is it meant to be one? If not... I researched 'haft' and it is something. It is the handle of a knife. I learned something new. I do not think a knife handle has anything to do with the imagery in this poem?
What part I liked best: I like the easy, flowing rhyme in this poetry. Each stanza is a three line sentence and I like this, too. The tone is one of happiness, awe, and anticipation. It kind of rolls when read aloud. It is a shame that 'out' and 'blue' do not rhyme as the other word pairings do. The third stanza is my favourite.
Overall Impression: This is a joyous ode to the wondrous arrival of Spring. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.
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