*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744540
Review #4744540
Viewing a review of:
 Never Goin Back Again  [E]
A poem from Fleetwood Mac's song wheel
by Purple Celebrates
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
House Florent Image for G.o.T.
 
GROUP
The Iron Bank of Braavos  (13+)
For G.o.T. Activity
#1994693 by Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm
"Game of Thrones Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.
Title: Never Goin Back Again
First Impression: Haha, I mistyped the title and saw ' bach again.' This is a totally different idea and subsequent impressions, isn't it? I like Fleetwood Mac music. Good choice for your altered lyrics. Of course, I noticed your signature purple font, pretty, and surprisingly easy on the eyes. I do not know if this was your intent, but this reads as a threat. "She will see me again." Is this an ominous promise? Cue the maniacal laughter?
What needs your attention: Nothing. This is succinct and well-written. I see no obvious, glaring problems.
What part I liked best: The spare words pack a punch. I still interpret this as a possessive male stalkerish wanna-be boyfriend spewing threats. He has stormed her defences and wormed his way in. He intends to be sly and sneaky? He seems sinister. Is he perhaps too comfortable with what he has done? "Sinking down back again." Is he settling in for the long term? "She will see me again maybe one time maybe two." The ongoing involvement is implied. How can the object, the other person be prepared and protected? There is a crowing with "I always win." Is this inevitable? This is far different than the original lyrics. They conjure up vulnerability and being saved/accepted. They speak of redemption. A desire to never repeat past mistakes.
Overall Impression: This set of lyrics is spooky. The creepy intent lingers and festers. I see foreshadowing of things to come. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.
{1743 characters} DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744540