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 Review #4744631 |
 | Celebrating Irma  [E] A birthday celebration.  |
| (4.0)| Hallo elizjohn ! I will be reviewing your work "Celebrating Irma" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: This is a short story that celebrates the life of a hurricane named Irma; but with a fun twist. Pluses:You hear/read about hurricanes and the first thing that comes to mind is natural disaster and all the chaos that ensues. However, for this story, you've taken what should be seen as an awful thing; and transformed it into a celebration of a person's life. In this situation, you've fast-forwarded us a hundred years into the future, where there's a gathering of people there to pay tribute to one of their own. She's a woman, also named 'Irma', who was - oddly enough - born on the same day the hurricane hit Florida. And what does good ol' Irma do as she grows older; she becomes a shining example of how ordinary people can become great. She's dipped her hand into everything possible to assist others in need, and does not shy away from hard work. Now, on her 100th birthday, everyone has converged to give her due which includes her favourite chocolate cake. I must say the tone of voice for this, I could picture some guy in a linen-suit speaking into a mic with a cheesy grin on his face while sweating excessively. Not sure that was the image you had in mind, but that was just the vibe I received while reading.  Suggestions:Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. >>“Ladies and gentleman, (you started this off with dialogue quotes and we don't see a closing one. Best to just delete that and allow the story to read like a narrative) >>She lifted them up, and she pointed (the) way.    Aside from the nitpicks up there, this was quite a fun read. Thanks for sharing and keep on writing!    Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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