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 Review #4745284 |
 | Ritual  [E] Coming to terms with loneliness.  |
| (4.0)| Hello! I found your Poem at random. I'm with the "The WDC Angel Army" . I enjoyed reading it and I hope you find this feedback useful.My First impression: I like the way you wrote this, because it states someone is lonely, without having anyone with the person. When a person is with someone, they do things together and stay with each other for a long time. Sometimes, someone would leave without thinking how the other person feels. Well, I've been in that kind of situation and it's hard because I wanted to be with that man, I was with but I knew, I couldn't. What works: I haven't done any poems before I came here on the site and it taught me, you have to center the poem. When you do a poem, write it but just make sure it's centered and you have your commas in the right place as well as your periods. You Need Work On: You have your paragraphs too long, so you need to make it shorter and have the font be at least a size 4, so people can read your poem. Final thoughts: When I was reading this, I felt the loneliness of the author who wrote this poem. This can be based on someone's life or how the person felt long time ago but I understand it can be emotional because of the experience. Dealing with loneliness is never easy to deal with each day but we push through. Based on this poem, I can understand because it can be lonely when you are with someone and the person doesn't talk to you much. I'm going through that right now and it's hard for me to open up and let someone into my life. This poem made me think of my own life and it's like that. Come night time, the man I'm with went home and my kids went to bed, I can feel the loneliness coming over me and I try to listen to music or watch something on my phone. I hope you will keep writing and don't give up on your dreams. Thanks for sharing Beacon   Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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