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Review #4745542
Viewing a review of:
 The meal You made Yourself   [E]
This poem describes uneasy feelings, intrusive thoughts, and long episodes of crying.
by InPraiseofFolly
Review by Jayne
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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This is a "Game of Thrones"  review!


Hello, InPraiseofFolly!

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
This delves deep into the psyche, exploring themes of self-cleansing, emotional burden, and the struggle for inner peace. The raw emotion and vulnerability in the poem immediately draw the reader into a visceral experience of the speaker's anguish and longing for relief.

*Checkb*Form, Rhythm, Cadence, and Style:
The imagery of rain, water, and food poignantly symbolizes the internal conflicts and desire for purification. The absence of a strict structure allows the thoughts to flow freely. The cadence is particularly impactful, with a rhythm fluctuating between quick, sharp phrases and longer, more desperate pleas. This varying pace helps to convey the intensity of the speaker’s emotional state, making the experience more immersive for the reader.

*Checkb*Content:
The poem’s content is rich with metaphors that express deep emotional and psychological distress. Its use of elemental imagery, like rain and water as agents of cleansing and transformation, is powerful and thought-provoking. It serves as a sad and stark reminder of the nature of some of our deepest sorrows.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
The poem's line breaks are thoughtfully placed to enhance the emotional delivery of each line. However, the poem might benefit from a more varied approach to punctuation. The full stops work well in the first stanza and at the end of stanzas, but to get the best read, I had to pretend other punctuation was present as I went through it.

I'm also unsure why "Child" is capitalized and "you" is not. It is a minor inconsistency that is easily corrected.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
This poem does a great job of capturing the essence of human vulnerability and the continuous struggle for self-acceptance and peace. Well done.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Jayne *Smile*


My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" 


The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/17/2024 @ 9:43am EDT
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