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Review #4745629
Viewing a review of:
Ghost Hunting  [18+]
Nothing seems amiss...just empty sets of glass panes, no faces staring back at me
by Schnujo is Late to Lannister
Review of Ghost Hunting  
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello Schnujo is Late to Lannister

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

Your story effectively creates a suspenseful atmosphere, blending elements of the supernatural with the mundane curiosity of modern ghost-hunting technology. The setting, a well-maintained but abandoned house, serves as a perfect backdrop for protagonist's exploration. The use of a ghost-hunting app as a narrative device adds a contemporary twist to the traditional ghost story, providing a unique way for the protagonist to interact with the unknown. The tension builds nicely throughout the narrative, culminating in the chilling single-word message, "RUN," which leaves the reader on edge.


*Penw* Suggestions

While the suspense is well-developed, I think the story could benefit from deeper character development. Learning more about Angela's motivations for exploring the house and her previous experiences with the supernatural could enhance the reader's connection to her. Additionally, some elements introduced in the story, such as the mention of the track team coach, feel to me as if they're a bit disconnected from the main narrative. Tightening these loose ends or integrating them more fully into the story could improve overall coherence and impact.


*Penw* Overall

This narrative is engaging and well-crafted, with a strong sense of mood and setting that pulls the reader into the mystery. The modern twist of using a ghost-hunting app brings a fresh perspective to the ghost story genre. By deepening character backstory and ensuring all narrative elements are tightly woven into the main plot, the story could offer even more depth and satisfaction. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/16/2024 @ 4:02pm EDT
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