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Review #4745651
Viewing a review of:
Courage and Sunflower Seeds  [ASR]
A story of courage and sunflower seeds
by Maryann
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones"  review from
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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Hello Maryann

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


First impression:

From the title, the story is going to be about someone who is courageous. There is the mention of sunflower seeds. I heard that sunflower seeds were a sign of hope for Ukrainians when the recent war started. I am curious to see how the sunflowers will factor in this story.
The intro line is pretty much a repeat of the title and could tell the potential reader a little bit more of what to expect. The thumbnail picture hints at something medieval.
This impression is warranted as proven by the mention of "Lord Petrus" in the first paragraph.

What works:

had the baby face of a four-year-old *Right* only a loving parent can see the face of an older child and still find the baby within.

What needs work:

He messed up Miles' sandy colored hair *Right* mussed up is the more descriptive way to write this about hair.

Miles scampered over to her, and immediately noticed the mess of sunflower seed shells encircling his sister. “Do you have to make a dumb mess with whatever you do? The dog makes less of a mess when he eats than you do.” *Right* Now I am really thinking you should change the "messed up" hair to "mussed up" and maybe find a different word for "mess" in this paragraph here.

I am obviously glad that Miles and Margaret were able to escape, but it's not clear why the woman in the saucer wanted to appear human shaped. What was she there for? A little villain monologue could have helped out with that part of the story. Since the story is easy to read and labelled Young Adult, it's perfectly fine to use basic methods of narration (like a monologue) to move the plot forward. Right now, the children only saved themselves, but they may not have stopped the threat coming from that woman. She's still in the forest and will get free at some point.

Final thoughts:

Even before you mentioned it, I was starting to get distinctive Hansel and Gretel vibes. The walk through the forest with the steady stream of sunflower seeds was a solid first hint. I did not see the saucer coming! You made the most out of so many mythologies plus the addition of a space ship. the two legs made the saucer appear like Babayaga's house. It also stands on two legs and it can walk places. This story was endearing in the way it combined medieval themes with the sci-fi insertion of a possible UFO, but left it all delightfully up to the reader's imagination whether this is more of a cautionary tale like those told by the Brothers Grimm or a fantastical romp like those seen in animes and written about in Mangas. While the vehicle here appeared to be extra terrestrial, there are many monsters in mythology that would employ similar methods to get ahold of human children.

I enjoyed reading this story immensely. It made think of a lot of other stories and that's a plus in my book.

Annette
"The WDC Angel Army" 


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