*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745700
Review #4745700
Viewing a review of:
 
Staremaster  [E]
There should be balance in life; a purpose for exercising = coffee + unlimited donuts.
by foxtale
Review of Staremaster  
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones"  review from
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Hello foxtale

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


First impression:

The title appears to be a play on words for Stairmaster, a popular piece of exercise equipment. The intro line reads like a t-account where both sides have to be equal. As I am currently in my second accounting class, I find that presentation very appealing.

What works:

Just then, 'whang,' he hit a diagonal cable that braced a telephone pole! *Right* This literally had me laugh out loud sitting right here at my computer. I can see him so clearly and that moment of Karma getting him was pure comedy gold.

What needs work:

staring at a chick across the street *Right* I can see who Mr. Macho Adonis would think of a woman like that, but since the story is told from your point of view, you have to consider if you want to represent yourself like the kind of man who thinks of women in demeaning terms.

Final thoughts:

This story, whether fiction or reality, is one of those big city moments that could totally happen. I saw that you mention another story at the bottom. You should link to it so that readers who come by can easily toggle over to the other story.

This was a very amusing read. I hope you got lots of laughs during your open mic readings. Those super chiseled humans are definitely in the minority with most of us fitting into the "jogging is dangerous" mindset. The best part in this story is that nothing but the man's dignity were bruised. It wouldn't be funny had he been seriously injured.

Annette
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/16/2024 @ 7:49pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4745700