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Review #4745786
Viewing a review of:
 Normal. Happy. Healthy  [E]
A short story. Perhaps a part two in the future....
by Temperance Stone
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hello Temperance Stone

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

This story beautifully captures the internal monologue of a woman reflecting on her life's journey from youthful exuberance to the mundanity of middle age. The juxtaposition of her past and present selves is poignantly depicted, and the use of the sensible shoes as a metaphor for her perceived dullness adds depth to the narrative.


*Penw* Suggestions

While the story flows well, I think it could benefit from more dynamic elements in the middle sections. The daily routines, though essential for setting up her epiphany, might be condensed to make way for more interactions or flashbacks that reveal her character's complexity and desires. Additionally, the introduction of Mike at the end feels a bit abrupt. Developing his character earlier in the story, perhaps through subtle encounters or mentions, would make his confession feel more integral to the narrative rather than a sudden development.


*Penw* Overall

This short story successfully delivers a message about rediscovering one's zest for life and challenges the inevitability of a mundane existence. It resonates with anyone who might find themselves reflecting on past choices and perceived normalcy. With a bit more balance between the protagonist's internal reflections and external interactions, this story could offer a more rounded and emotionally engaging journey. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jeff
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