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Review #4746429
Viewing a review of:
The Journals of Mary Brownstone  [E]
A secretary dreams of being a journalist and gets an unlikely shot. Writer's Cramp winner.
by Elizabeth
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Hello Elizabeth

First impression:

This short story won the Writer's Cramp on March 29, 2017! Congratulations!

What works:

The dark times of the life of a woman in the United States in the Twentieth Century. This story feels like a real woman wrote this. The question why Livingston was promoted is never answered in the text, but it is obvious that he was promoted because there happened to be no other white man around on the day that the promotion had to be given out.

What needs work:

The title tells us this will be about a woman called Mary Brownstone, but the intro line only tells about winning. It might be an idea to push the winning announcement into a drop note in the actual item and to use the intro line for something more descriptive about the story.

Final thoughts:

It's always shocking to me, over and over, when I read these kind of accounts. Although this story is likely fiction, it was the true life of women for way too long, and not long enough ago. Each time I see things like this, I keep wondering how advanced the whole world could be if half of the population + all non-whites hadn't been kept from participating in science, medicine, politics, and engineering. We probably would be walking on Mars and cancer would be cured. But no, we're still in the stone ages for a lot of things because white men can't let go. It's the sad truth that the world is still reeling from.

Your Writer's Cramp winning spot was well deserved.

Annette
"The WDC Angel Army" 


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