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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4746575
Review #4746575
Viewing a review of:
~Memories of Momma~  [13+]
Story inspired by a photograph.
by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH
Review by Choconut
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH ,

*Dragon* This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones! *Dragon*


Disclaimer


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


What I liked: The hold you had over me for this whole story.

*Bulletr* Oh, Webbie. You've done it again. You have tugged on my heartstrings, making me feel so much empathy for your character. You even had my eyes misting over at the end. You have such a warm, genuine voice, and it sucks your readers in. The memories of wheat fields and running through them, the memories of being with a magical mother; it just moves me. We never get over losing our mothers, no matter how old we are, and the way you show Amanda at the end of the story, still having the same ritual of running through the wheat fields, pretending to be a unicorn, works. It just works.

*BulletR* I didn't make any notes while reading this, and usually I write a bunch so I can remember bits I want to point out. But, with this story, I was captivated. I couldn't take my eyes away from the page. I love how you mention the gold corn, and at the end you write the, "sun is shining its golden flecks over the field." (That's wonderful imagery, by the way.) The way you carry the golden colour though, as though you are thinking of the golden childhood image, the halcyon days when life was carefree and safe, is part of the reason why I liked this so much.

*BulletR* When I first started to read, I thought this was a biographical piece. But it isn't in your life experience folder, so I don't think it is. But that is testament to your writing because it sounds completely believable. The part where Amanda is staying with her aunt when her momma passes away is really emotional. I could feel for that poor, young girl. She must have felt so lonely and frightened. When she didn't believe her aunt, and insisted on going home to see her momma, it was so, so sad. Because we knew it was true.


Suggestions: Once again, I have none. If you changed this in any way, you would potentially detract from the emotion.


Parting comments: Wow. You write straight from your heart. I love it when I read other people's words, and they speak to me. And yours do. I loved this story!


Choconut

My House Targaryen Sig. for Game of Thrones, 2024.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/21/2024 @ 8:06pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4746575