*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4747194
Review #4747194
Viewing a review of:
The Last Snowflake  [E]
3/12/04 Short story for contest. Subject: The last snowflake of winter.
by Legerdemain
Review by Jayne
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Image for Activity


This is a "Game of Thrones"  review!



Hello, Legerdemain !

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
This is a serene and poetic transition from winter to spring and is wonderful.

*Checkb*Title and Description:
The title is great. I prefer to use the description more as a book blurb than as a contest tracker, but the more I review, the more I find it's a common thing to do. My theory is the more information a reader has to to go by, the more likely they are to select the item, but it's entirely possible I have been wrong this whole time.

*Checkb*Hook and plot:
The idea of the last snowflake of winter landing on the cherry tree at the beginning of spring is a gentle and effective hook. The simple narrative belies its symbolism of beauty, transformation, change, and cycles. Nothing is permanent as the cycles of life remind us, and this is the perfect vehicle for opening that type of dialogue with children. It's truly a story I could see being illustrated and captivating children with its enchanting story and message.

*Checkb*Characters and dialogue:
The personification in the story is so well done. Their delight and dismay are palpable, and the word choices are simple but emotional, resulting in a touching story.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
There may be a few spots in the dialogue where the punctuation is out of place, but I'm not enough of a grammar expert to say with certainty. What I do know for certain is that it didn't affect the readability. You've done a wonderful job with descriptive language and setting the scene in a vivid and thought-provoking manner. The presentation, structured like a poem, fits perfectly with the story's narrative and word choices.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
I'm so glad I found this story while wandering through your port. It was wonderful to read.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Jayne *Smile*



My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" 



The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4747194