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 Review #4747395 |
 | Ali and Mitch  [18+] A love story that stretches over nearly forty years. Entry in Weekly Quickie contest.  |
| (4.5)  This Review was done on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones" ! Hi ☮ The Grum Of Grums .I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reviewing your offering "Ali and Mitch" . The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer, and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  Overall Impression. Good morning. I've visited your Port before; it's nice to be back. This review is a response to a task set before me to review five members whose Usernames start with A, B, C, D and E. You are my B.It was your cover photo that drew my eye to this offering. Your Brief Description hooked me in. How could I pass up finding out about a 40 year love story? I tell you from the start, your story is not what I expected ... and that's in a good way. I liked your twist. (No, I won't spell it out here; readers read the story.) Your characterizations of Mitch and Ali are endearing. I really enjoy reading how Mitch and Ali interact with each other. One thing: I thought the time between each losing their spouse and their downsizing to a retirement unit to be pretty long. I don't know whether children were in the mix to help with that passing of time, but two or three years is a long time to spend (alone) after having been married for so long. I'm using my own personal experience for that observation. I was married for 33 years raising four children with my wife. Having downsized almost immediately after our divorce, I lasted about nine months before getting back in the dating scene. Yes, I realize not everyone is the same. I found your dialogue to be very realistic and unforced. I could feel the tempo of it as if I was there listening.  Editorial Thoughts. I think you pushed your 18+ rating, but I can live with that. Perhaps you just caught me on a good day. Seriously, if you check out my background, you'll know I appreciate a good love scene. Your balance was good.  Technical Considerations. Maths should be singular. “Yes, but you always were better at maths than me,” I may have miscounted your dialogue paragraphs after Mitch arrives for dinner. Each paragraph should represent a change in speaker; it seems off to me from who should be speaking as I read it. Beginning with: “Like what you see, mister?” she giggled... My Rating. 4.5. Thank you for sharing your offering.
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