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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4747413
Review #4747413
Viewing a review of:
Wonderland Going Down The Rabbit Hole 2  [E]
My book for Alice In Wonderland Going Down The Rabbit Hole Again.
by Princess Megan Rose 22 Years
         Review for entry/chapter: "A. Down The Rabbit Hole, The Antipathies" 
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#4747413
Review by Jayne
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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This is a "Game of Thrones"  review!



Hello, Princess Megan Rose 22 Years!

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
The story playfully explores an imaginative and whimsical world that captures the spirit of classic tales. Its quirky characters and absurd scenarios capture the essence of a delightful fairy tale with a modern twist.

*Checkb*Title and Description:
Your writing effectively conveys the fantastical and surreal adventure that awaits. The prompt is intriguing and sets the scene for a world where the expected laws of nature are turned on their head, sparking curiosity about the oddities Alice will encounter.

*Checkb*Hook and plot:
The narrative hooks the reader with its absurd premise of needing to keep hands raised to prevent rain, which immediately immerses one in the story's fantastical logic. It was truly ridiculous, and I don't know how you came up with it, but it made me giggle. The plot unfolds through bizarre and funny encounters that maintain interest. Some of the introduction of new concepts felt rushed, but I imagine that's a time or word limitation.

*Checkb*Characters and dialogue:
Alice's interactions with the park's residents and creatures are entertaining and vividly portrayed. The dialogue heightens the situation's absurdity. Proper two-person (or more) dialogue could provide more depth to enhance character development and emotional engagement.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
The narrative is creatively constructed but could benefit from revisiting the sentence structure to improve clarity and readability. For example, transitions between Alice's encounters can be smoothed out to maintain ease of readability.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
This creative and amusing story embodies the spirit of adventure and discovery. It cleverly uses a magical solution, adding a charming twist to the narrative.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Jayne *Smile*



My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" 



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