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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4748450
Review #4748450
Viewing a review of:
 Promise  [E]
Live and learn
by CHarris
Review of Promise  
Review by Annette
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A "Game of Thrones review from
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Hello CHarris

I found this item on "The Shameless "Plug" Page

First impression:

The title and intro are very short. Only four words to give a hint at what is to come. A promise versus live and learn gives the impression that there will be a broken promise in this item.

What works:

The brevity of your piece is a reflection of the few words that announce it. The defiance in the poem is palpable and believable. Death is inevitable, but there are a lot of things that can happen before that. For one, death can be somewhat thwarted by becoming famous for some reason. (Not infamous though) that's not a good way to be immortalized as the bad example.

What needs work:

You could give the item a thumbnail picture. It's easy to add one in edit mode. StoryMistress has made a vast library of images available. Those add interest and help to get your item noticed.

Final thoughts:

This short piece is thought provoking in that it reminds the reader of how frail life and healt really is. We are all going to have to face the adversity of overcoming illness and meeting the end of our lives. This piece is a good kick in the pants reminder to get up and going at whatever it is that we want the world to remember us by.


Annette
"The WDC Angel Army


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