  Comedy
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| A tribute to a quiet but very funny man. His work inspired some big names and we can still enjoy his eccentric brand of humour, even though Hovis Presley has left the building. |
| ASIN: 1945043032 |
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Hovis Presley
A comedy giant you probably never heard of....
He wore a zip-up cardigan over a brown polo-shirt. Traces of the dippy egg he'd eaten for breakfast encrusted the third button down. This was only just visible below a couple of stubbly chins. The room was dark but as he shambled towards me I could see an expression of pathetic pleading in his eyes, behind the horn-rimmed spectacles.
"You look like my first girlfriend, " he said. I shifted nervously in my seat. "Would you like to be her?" he added.
As the laughter, garnished with ripples of applause, filled the room, Hovis Presley hung his head and his hulking shoulders shuddered as he shuffled back to his stool where he sat waiting for the giggles to subside.
"I once spent an evening with Lola or Layla
She said make me breathless - I hid her inhaler."
Hovis Presley's real name was Richard Henry McFarlane. He was born in Bolton near Manchester, England, in 1960.
I was one of the many, extremely fortunate people who met this extraordinary man, and understood why he'd become known as, The Bard of Bolton.
He could have been a major star. Tipped to win the prestigious Perrier Award after his sell-out performances at the Edinburgh Fringe, he shocked everyone when he ran away. Not for him, the media circus and bright lights. Hovis preferred to play small clubs and perform for no fee at charity events.
I ran a tiny comedy club in my village. About 25 miles from the metropolis and thriving comedy scene of Manchester, my club was able to attract surprisingly high quality acts. The names are still in my address book although the club closed its doors for the last time at the end of 2004.
When I booked Hovis Presley, I was totally unaware of the genius I was about to meet. His appearance did nothing to alert me to his star quality either. During the opening acts, Hovis sat on a bar stool, sipping soda-water with a look of despondency on his crumpled face. "Would you like to stay over, Hovis?" I asked. I always offered my headline acts free board and breakfast because many preferred to have a drink.
"No thanks. I don't live far away, and my mother would worry." he answered, simply. A shudder of anxiety ran down my spine. This man still lived with his mother, looked like a depressed recluse and spoke with such a soft tone, I wondered how he was going to make himself heard, from the stage. Surely he didn't have the confidence and wit to entertain this critical audience.
From the moment he blundered onto the stage, however, Hovis held the audience in his chubby palm. He recited some quirky poetry, from his collection, "Poetic Off-Licence" which is still in print, by the way; threw away a stream of one-liners and delighted the crowd with his pathos and whimsical word-play.
His humour may have been distinctively Northern English but I 'm sure it had wider appeal too,
"I rely on you like a handyman needs pliers
Like an auctioneer needs buyers
Like a laundromat needs driers
Like The Good Life needed Richard Briers."
He trained comedians, running workshops and drama courses at Salford University. Big names like, Peter Kay, Johnny Vegas and John Shuttleworth all owe much to his gentle influence.
Sadly, to quote his own words, "As all good things go, he went." a life-time of obesity probably contributed to his premature death from heart attack, aged just 44, 9th June 2005. I'm grateful to have known him, and hope he'll continue to encourage good comedy through his volumes of written work. His air of innocence and mastery of crafty puns is inspirational. When he came back to my club to play a second gig, I was grateful I hadn't taken his advice, "Take your wood-stain with you, and never darken my door again." he'd once said.
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This is a great caption contest. The pictures are wonderful.
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Try this for a gentle giggle.
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Poor, Al. I think we can all sympathise with her feelings in this poem:
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Tracy has some funny observations here - including an insight into the Beckham household.
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This should help you get by in New Zealand.
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This is a well-written and humorous. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
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dogfreek21
Thanks for a great newsletter! You can use that ryhme on my (intentionally) bad poems!!!
Fates Future
Most Enjoyable Newsletter.
However, this is the best one I've read today...
My most important piece of advice to all you would-be writers; when you write, try to leave out all the parts readers skip.
~Elmore Leonard
;0) Enjoy your day.
Fates Future.
Mark
Next newsletter, for the sake of my monitor and keyboad, shall be read at a time when I will not be consuming a meal. Thanks for the insight, great quotes, and reminder of an oft under used aspect in my writing.
schipperke
Mavis, our senate here over the pond is so boring compared to watching the barbs fly at your parliment!
Thank you for featuring my Muck Boots story. The boots of the story are now, sadly gone. I have a new pair of fancy boots that just aren't the same.
Theday 
Thanks for including "Invalid Item" in the newsletter!
Who are your comedy heroes and why? Tell me about who and what makes you laugh. |
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Comedy: May 03, 2006 Issue [#1008]
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