This week: Show, Don't Tell - Again Edited by: Legerdemain  
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The purpose of this newsletter is to help the Writing.com short story author hone their craft and improve their skills. Along with that I would like to inform, advocate, and create new, fresh ideas for the short story author. Write to me if you have an idea you would like presented.
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Show, Don't Tell - Again
We've heard it a million times, show don't tell. How do we know we're telling? In my opinion, it takes practice. I've been practicing for decades and I still don't get it right. Lucky, I like to research and read, and listen/watch videos.
“You don’t start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it’s good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it. That’s why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.” ― Octavia E. Butler
While I don't think any stated editing/writing rule is hardfast, a piece of advice I read recently was if you're using a lot of emotion/feelings adjectives, you're probably telling. Not only telling, but probably too flowery. So when you're in edit mode and chugging through your last bit of writing, stop when you see an emotion word. Sometimes it's okay to tell, when your long rich narrative isn't needed for that moment for your reader, drop a fact in there and move on.
It's something we need to remember, even in short stories, there IS a time to show and a time to tell.
Write on!
This month's question: How do you discover a "tell" in your writing? Send in your answer below!  Editors love feedback!
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Excerpt: “How did you do it, Jed?” Doc repeated slowly.
“I didn’t command the lightning, if you are wondering.” Jed’s restless lips quivered with an uncontainable smile. “Nor did I foresee the future.”
Doc threw one leg over the other.
“All right, all right!” Jed shook away his put-on superiority. “Are you familiar with the multiverse theory?”
“On a basic level, yes. It says that our universe is one of many, many other universes.”
Excerpt: “Well, we think it’s a warning,” I explained. “A series of images…mostly of Earth.”
“Mostly?”
“Yes.”
More whispering.
“And it looks like they’ve been watching us.” I hit play.
Excerpt: "You seek answers we cannot give. Each Time faces its own challenge. We faced ours, now you face yours. Until you understand that only you stand in the way you will receive no answers.
Excerpt: Belle leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. “I want that, more than you know.” With her voice just above a whisper, she said, “But it’s only for two more weeks.” She took his face between her hands, and said, “Promise me that.”
Enter to win!
Excerpt: The intrepid explorer gazed impassively at the snowy meadow, contemplating her lack of options. Of course, ‘gazed’ wasn’t quite the correct word. The lumps of coal that served as eyes were actually charcoal briquets, nearly whole remnants scavenged from the family barbecue pit.
Excerpt: "Breaking news!" the red-head exclaimed as she dropped her purse onto the middle of the starchy tablecloth. "I'm going to Greece!" She fell into the empty chair.
Excerpt: He took Snow's hand and took her into the cottage. The dwarfs hugged her and she gave them the basket of apples except for a couple. The house was a mess. Snow cleaned the house like she always did for the little guys.
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This month's question: How do you discover a "tell" in your writing? Send in your answer below! Editors love feedback!
Last month's question: Do you feel it is important to get permission for using copyrighted work?
Beacon - House Night's Watch  : Yes, I think so. if you want to use someone's artwork for example, you have to get permission. When I had to get a picture for my book, I use my fiancé's picture that he took when we were in Joshua Tree National Park. I think it is important to get permission to use anything that someone else did.
s  : Yes. More than just important, as you point out in the newsletter - there is a legal obligation when it comes to things like music. I have seen people post lyrics to full songs here on WdC, which means the copyright at the bottom goes to them - that's theft. Sometimes it's easy - we're using two movie lines in a book I have coming out next year, and the publisher asked the copyright holder and we were given a straight-forward yes. No money, just permission. It is vital. We are a community; if I took a story I found here on WdC and sold it under my name, people would be rightly angry. Give others the same courtesy you would expect.
bryanmchunter: Yes. That's often why I have parodies in my works as opposed to the real things, most commonly, video games. For example, Toddlerhood has Super Marquez Bros. and Speedy the Porcupine. What these are parodies of should be easy to figure out.
🐺Wolfkingdom🏰 : Yes, it not only shows ur interested in it, but keeps you out of being seen using another's idea without there consent to use it in the first place.
elephantsealer : Getting permission to use copyrighted work is a must, a necessity, a duty, in fact. How would you feel if someone use your copyrighted book without asking the required permission, not to mention the fact that someone does admire your work? Does that not make you proud that someone, no matter who, feels your work is perfect?
A Cassandra.  : Leger is correct about the current legal position, across most of the modern world. It need not be so. it was not always so. And I would argue it it should not be so.
-sorry wolf you cannot claim ownership of an idea.
-around the world and throughout time artists where people who did what they did out of compulsion a sense that they had too. People who only did it for money where in a different profession.
-look at any art form before the twentieth century; inducing music and literature. historians of that will show lines of progression. B develops from A, and them lead onto C,D,E...X.
-That someone can not use a line from a song in a book, because of greed, is wrong. where is the generosity of spirit, that is necessary for art to develop and flourish.
Arsuit : As an attorney whose legal writing class involved a hypothetical Fair Use lawsuit, just get permission. Even if you could justify using the work under Fair Use, things are so much easier when you have permission.
Elphee : well of course it is. If one thinks it isn't, then I am sure the legal aspect will be quite enlightening, if they get sued. But, mistakes happen sometimes, when one doesn't know. And this can happen.
Elfin Dragon-finally published : I do feel it's important to get permission for copyrighted work. I also feel it's important to get permission from people to use their names if you plan on using them in some sort of biography.
Max Griffin 🏳️🌈  : Good advice on copyrights, and it's exactly correct. The good news is that a title can't be copyrighted, so you can say your character was listening to "Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band." Be careful about trademarks though. Some companies are sensitive about their products being named. "Mickie Mouse" is a trademark, for example, and you'll never be able to use it. Most of the character names in Star Wars and Marvel movies are also trademarked...
Grin 'n Bear It! : Always look forward to your NL, not only for info but checking out the Editor's Picks. Did a double take when I realized one of my flash fictions (("The Doll" )) was one of your picks. Was a pleasant surprise. Thank you. As to topic of NL, I knew titles aren't copyrighted, but didn't know a single line with an attribution doesn't fly, so valuable info.
Jeannie Cheering for Martel : Yes, I feel it is important to get permission for using copyrighted work. It's someone else's hard work, and it's not right to take it as yours.
Thank you for highlighting my story I wrote when I first joined WDC. I had this idea in my mind, and was proud to finally get it written for everyone else to read and review. 
Mary Ann MCPhedran  : When I write a story I write from my imagination and the characters in the story are usually someone I know in real life, but I don't reveal who.
Thanks to everyone for reading my newsletters and responding! Leger~ |
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Short Stories: June 23, 2021 Issue [#10848]
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