  Poetry
This week: Edited by: Becky Simpson  
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Have you ever had a boy friend / girl friend dump you? Or maybe found out they were seeing another person? I think people who are snooty are horrible. Have you ever met somebody with so much attitude, they were living at a different altitude? Maybe you ran into a rude driver who cut you off in traffic? Don’t all of these just make you want to scream in frustration? My favorite revenge pastime might be in some of those cases to form a voodoo doll and stick it with pins, knowing of course it wasn’t doing anything to my intended victim. Recently I was exposed to a new way to work out my anger and frustration. Maybe you will want to give it a try.
It is called revenge poetry. Now a word of caution is warranted. Taking your anger and frustration out on somebody using poetry can have drawbacks. Some drawbacks that come to mind are your intended target may have the skill to return fire, your work being signed on Writing.Com will make identifying you fairly easy, and unless your poem is very creative, it will probably get low ratings. Now let’s take a look at how to write revenge poetry with a flair. While we learn a little about the art we will have a look at poets both on and off site. Along with that, I will provide you with this week’s list of favorite poets. In closing I will answer the feedback from the last edition, listing the winners from the last newsletters. Becky Simpson
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Doesn’t this subject sound interesting? Well, I think it is, and it can be fun, too. You will need to remember a few rules, though, just to make the experience of writing revenge poetry more satisfying. First it can’t be too simplistic such as:
Roses are red, violets are blue,
My feet stink and so do you!
You probably won’t have any problem with this one since every one of you are very good poets. There is also another problem with the two-liner above, know what it is? It is self deprecating. Another words, the author (me) actually puts herself down at the same time she is trying to put her intended victim in his place. Oh, by the way, my feet definitely don’t stink! No way! No how!
So, care to guess what the second rule is? Unless you are placing yourself above the object of your anger, do not use yourself or any of your body parts within your poem. You will only give your antagonist some ammunition with which to shoot back. What if the whole world thought my pretty feet smelled? YUCK! This would turn the tables on you and allow someone to make fun of you. How would I fix it? Well I might do this:
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your dog stinks and so do you!
Third rule: Make very sure your grammar, punctuation, rhyme, meter, and word usage reflects your higher breeding. Another words, make as few mistakes as possible. Mistakes such as those mentioned will lead to your ridicule (possibly publicly) by either your target or other poets who take offense at anything less than perfection. So, what are some classic examples of revenge poetry? Let’s have a look.
My Last Duchess
(Ferrara)
Robert Browning
That's my last duchess painted on the wall,
Looking as if she were alive. I call
That piece a wonder, now; Fra Pandolf's hands
Worked busily a day, and there she stands.
Will't please you sit and look at her? I said
"Fra Pandolf" by design, for never read
Strangers like you that pictured countenance,
That depth and passion of its earnest glance,
But to myself they turned (since none puts by
The curtain drawn for you, but I) [10]
And seemed as they would ask me, if they durst,
How such a glance came there; so not the first
Are you to turn and ask thus. Sir, 't was not
Her husband's presence only, called that spot
Of joy into the Duchess' cheek: perhaps
Fra Pandolf chanced to say "Her mantle laps
Over my lady's wrist too much" or "Paint
Must never hope to reproduce the faint
Half-flush that dies along her throat:" such stuff
Was courtesy, she thought, and cause enough [20]
For calling up that spot of joy. She had
A heart - how shall I say? - too soon made glad,
Too easily impressed: she liked whate'er
She looked on, and her looks went everywhere.
Sir, 't was all one! My favour at her breast,
The dropping of the daylight in the West,
The bough of cherries some officious fool
Broke in the orchard for her, the white mule
She rode with round the terrace -all and each
Would draw from her alike the approving speech, [30]
Or blush,at least. She thanked men - good! but thanked
Somehow - I know not how - as if she ranked
My gift of a nine-hundred-years-old name
With anybody's gift. Who'd stoop to blame
This sort of trifling? Even had you skill
In speech - (which I have not) - to make your will
Quite clear to such a one, and say, "Just this
Or that in you disgusts me; here you miss
Or there exceed the mark"- and if she let
Herself be lessoned so, nor plainly set [40]
Her wits to yours, forsooth, and made excuse
- E'en then would be some stooping; and I choose
Never to stoop. Oh sir, she smiled, no doubt,
Whene'er I passed her; but who passed without
Much the same smile? This grew; I gave commands;
Then all smiles stopped together. There she stands
As if alive. Will 't please you rise? We'll meet
The company below, then. I repeat,
The Count your master's known munificence
Is ample warrant that no just pretence [50]
Of mine for dowry will be disallowed;
Though his fair daughter's self, as I avowed
At starting is my object. Nay, we'll go
Together down, sir. Notice Neptune, though,
Taming a sea-horse, thought a rarity,
Which Claus of Innsbruck cast in bronze for me.
What do you think? Me, I think I need to stay in my place in society and not be as easy as this poet thought his duchess to be. This work also illustrates another rule, if you will, for this type of poetry. If you can, use unusual words in your poetry. I don’t know about you, but, I had to look up munificence – (liberality in bestowing gifts; extremely liberal and generous of spirit). The use of unusual or arcane language makes your intended victim feel even smaller since they have no idea what you are talking about.
Now a word of warning – revenge has a cost. Oh, yes, I’m not kidding. It is sort of like in the book of Revelation when John is made to eat the Bible. It is sweet in his mouth but sours his stomach. Revenge is basically the same way: It tastes sweet when served, yet it requires you to stoop for each scoop. If it makes you bitter, don’t you end up worse off? Since your once easy going attitude changes noticeably and is easily noted by friends and family alike. Enough of my prattle; let’s have a look at a few more. The next is from possibly the most famous of sonnet authors:
Sonnet 149: Canst thou, O cruel, say I love thee not
Canst thou, O cruel, say I love thee not,
When I against my self with thee partake?
Do I not think on thee when I forgot
Am of my self, all tyrant, for thy sake?
Who hateth thee that I do call my friend?
On whom frown'st thou that I do fawn upon?
Nay, if thou lour'st on me, do I not spend
Revenge upon my self with present moan?
What merit do I in my self respect,
That is so proud thy service to despise,
When all my best doth worship thy defect,
Commanded by the motion of thine eyes?
But, love, hate on, for now I know thy mind:
Those that can see thou lov'st, and I am blind.
William Shakespeare
The knife (as it were) is applied at the end of this one. Shakespeare declares all who can see this woman loves her, and he is blind. Ouch! Revenge poetry can take on many different forms and is written for as many different reasons. The next was published in Hinge magazine; notice the reason for the desire for revenge.
This is just to say
William,
that I'm glad that you
enjoyed the plums
which I was saving
for breakfast
I'm saving the note
you tacked on the
icebox door
for the divorce
I'm suing for
to show how selfish
you are
and later I'll publish it
to show just how offhand
a poet can be
revenge is
best enjoyed
at leisure
sweet and delicious
as cold plums
Michael Shepherd
PLUMS! The poet seeks revenge over some plums. He tells of the selfishness of another but isn’t willing to share his plums. Perhaps I am stretching the point, but maybe you can see that this poet pays the price for his vengeful spirit as he points out his own begrudging spirit. Our next offering is just an excerpt, but I think the first few lines take us back to a more familiar reason for our contempt of others and the desire for revenge. Have a peek.
EPISTLE II: TO A LADY (Of the Characters of Women )
NOTHING so true as what you once let fall,
"Most Women have no Characters at all."
Matter too soft a lasting mark to bear,
And best distinguish'd by black, brown, or fair.
Alexander Pope
In case you didn’t catch it, this work is a real slap in the face of women, implying there is so little difference between them that the most memorable feature is their coloring.
Revenge poetry can be cute, or deadly serious. I think the determining factor is bound to be how close you are to the individual from whom you are seeking revenge. It is easier to write something sillier when you have not gotten your heart invested. After my dad died, I found a poem he had clipped from a newspaper. I knew that he had gone through one divorce in his life but not that he still carried the burden with him. The poem was a reflection on the character of a cheating woman. It was not very complimentary.
What about our poets here on Writing.Com? Think we have much revenge poetry on our site? I’m not sure, but we are about to find out. Let’s peruse the ranks of our great site and see what our best poets have been able to come up with. Our first offering is by (user:writetight} as she shares "Invalid Item" , as she shows us how to overcome a problem many women have: being abused by their husbands.
Danse Macabre
A fading mouse beneath my right eye,
fingerprint bruises on my arm,
He promised to love, honor and cherish,
Not degrade, abuse and harm.
A vicious, open-handed slap,
took my hearing from one ear,
I've tried and tried to leave him,
But he holds me in a grip of fear.
Yesterday he shook the baby,
But I held myself in check,
To protest would only make him madder,
Then his hands would encircle my neck.
Instead, I devised a little plan,
That would dissolve my marriage ties,
I laced his beer with poison,
And watched the bastard die.
At the funeral, I was stoic,
I heard people say, "She's so brave!"
But when they leave the cemetery,
I'll waltz upon his grave.
The End
Now this is taking revenge to an extreme, but you may, of course, form your own opinion. I was surprised at the intensity of some of the poetry I found on Writing.Com, yet there was also some more lighthearted examples. As I have said, this kind of poetry takes many forms. Our next is a bit more comical and in fact demonstrates one of the mistakes I told you not to make. Read as Clearwater presents for our entertainment "Short Sheeted" . I hope you enjoy. Be prepared; there will be a test later.
You made up my mind,
but you didn't make my bed.
Twenty five years, you'd think
You'd have it in your head
To do what is expected
To do what is right.
To make up the bed
Make it ready for night.
And so, therefore,
It's short on your side
I made it once more,
The joke's all mine.
Of course, I didn't think,
in the middle of the night
You'd end up with sheets
and I'd be uptight.
My butt is exposed
and I am shivering.
The joke is on me
for even believing
That I could get you back
for this one small discretion.
I'll think of something else
to teach you a lesson.
Did you spot the mistake that was made? Don’t leave yourself open for retaliation even if it is accidental. Our next offering "Invalid Item" was created by bleueyedgirl. This should be a classic because it contains all of the necessary components. I am sure it will make you smile if not outright laugh. Have fun with it.
A Biting Limerick
There once was an old man named Brett
He was tangled inside a fish net.
Big crabs, they did come,
And nipped off his bum,
Now old Brett has no place left to set!
A Feathery Tale
There once was a young man named Bruce
Who looked very much like a goose.
When white feathers he sprouted,
His girlfriend departed,
Now Bruce spends his days hanging loose!
Our last offering from user Byron Quinn ties this newsletter up very nicely, taking back to the beginning where I explained to you, my readers, my predilection for poking holes in a voodoo doll. Come along as we read "Invalid Item" together.
VOODOO WISH
Aches
Pains
Death
Disease
These all wait for you
For with my pin
I stick to you
The beauty of
Voodoo doll
 I think this poet was reading my mind. The best way to get even with somebody is at a long distance and leaving no recourse for the intended victim. Now before I close, let me say I do not suggest you take vengeance into your own hands. If your subject is a rotten person, he or she will reap what they are sowing.
I hope this issue has given you a few minutes of enjoyment and some insight into revenge poetry. More than that, I hope you found the poetry thought provoking.
To all of the readers, I send my thanks for your patience and offer my apologies if anything I have said has offended you. Not sure what next month will bring, but I assure you I will do my best to make it entertaining.
I am always at your service.
Becky L Simpson
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FAVORITES:
The following members of Writing.Com are some of my favorite poets on Writing.Com. They exhibit and understanding and skill that, simply put, amaze me. I hope those I have forgotten will forgive me, but as time goes on and my memory prods, me this list will change.
Vivian 
reblackwell
COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME 
Ann Ticipation 
Tornado Day
b_boonstra
daycare
SUGGESTED READINGS:
My suggested readings for this month:
| |  | Invalid Item
This item number is not valid.
#203312 by Not Available. |
| | | Invalid Item
This item number is not valid.
#845574 by Not Available. |
CONTESTS:
There will be no challenge this issue because I have gotten behind. To make up for my slowness each of the previous entrants will receive 20,000 points and my apologies. Although I will not challenge you, I do ask you try this form of poetry since it has got therapeutic value. If you send me an example you have written, I will review it and send you a handsome point gift.
LAST MONTH’S CONTEST:
The winners will be notified.
My thanks to all those who entered, you were all quite good.
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Questions and comments from last week, my thanks to those who wrote in:
Submitted By: Red Writing Hood <3 
Submitted Comment:
Wonderful work, Becky! When you asked me to answer your list of questions I expected a list with all our responses (informative but a bit boring - and something I've been guilty of doing, lol) BUT you surprised me with your entertaining glimpse into our lives. One editor was missing but not mentioned as such - YOU! You have to know that now I'm ever so curious about how you'd answer those questions.
And on a side note: I'm a red-head ::whispers, pointing to the back issues - who recently did a list of her favs in this very newsletter and narrowed it down to ten (reluctantly). - end of whispering:: Darth, Cappy, Katya and Pita are a few favs, off the top of my head, but there are many, many more.
Red,
A red head? You? Well I bet you’re beautiful. Thanks for the list of favorites I am sure they are beaming with pride. Now about me, there is very little interesting about me  , but I do appreciate your asking. I will tell you I use the excuse of being a blonde way too much. I was raised in Orange Park, Florida and moved to Tennessee to pursue a career. From there I have traveled extensively my next most probable place to call home is Oklahoma. – hugs Becky
Submitted By: vabel
Submitted Comment:
Thanks for highlighting the other poetry editors, Becky, but what about you? Maybe you'll give the same information about you? ~~ Mom
Hi Mom,
Well, as I told red there is not much to tell and I am sure the readers would much rather learn about you and the others. Thank you mom as always you are a huge help to me. – Hugs Becky
Submitted By:daycare
Submitted Comment:
Becky
You put so much time and thought into your newsletters. I love reading them and always learn something new. You have picked some excellent writers to highlight. My adopted sister being just one. Keep em coming! Wendie
Hi Wendie,
Thank you for the encouragement Wendie. I try to do a reasonable job of research and give readers a laugh along the way. I dare say though that John thinks I have misused the reference to crackers. - Hugs Becky
Submitted By: monty31802
Submitted Comment:
Becky, you put another together,
Light and bright as an angel feather.
My Dad always used to say,
If you didn't learn something new today
You might have well stayed in the hay,
If you didn't make a mistake he said
You surely never got out of bed..
Thanks for teaching me something new
and reminding me of a mistake I make too.
Hi Monty,
I am totally blushing Monty. I think this is the first time someone has written something just for me. You have been a bright light of inspiration and encouragement for me. Thank you for your comments and kindness. Hugs – Becky
To the rest of you kind readers who made comments about last month’s newsletter; thank you. If it were not for your kind words I would be inclined to find another way to spend the time I spend here.
If you have a question, comment or just an observation concerning this edition of the Poetry Newsletter please feel free to send it to me. I would also like our poetry newsletter readers to send me their favorite poem. Please include the poet’s name. I prefer poets from Writing.Com.
Next weeks editor:Stormy Lady
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Poetry: June 21, 2006 Issue [#1105]
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