This week: Helping You Help Yourself Edited by: Kit of House Lannister  
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It is said that God helps those who help themselves. Sometimes, the best thing you can do to help yourself is to ask for help.
This week's Spiritual Newsletter is all about supporting those in need, and being brave enough to ask for support when the person in need is you.
Kit of House Lannister |
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It is said that God helps those who help themselves. The meaning behind the saying is that if you sit around and wait for things to happen, you’ll likely end up disappointed. If you want to get into a good college, you need to study. If you want that dream job, you’re going to have to apply for it. If you want to find the love of your life, you need to get out there, rather than expect them to be delivered to your doorstep.
It’s a sensible saying. There have been times in my life when I’ve felt overwhelmed, and rather than take action I froze. When that happens, everything I’ve felt worried about remains unresolved, and because of my inaction more worries pile on top of that, worsening the burden. It’s much better to write down what needs to be done. Break it down into smaller steps where possible. Then act on it, one little step at the time. Eventually, it’ll get better. Much better than the stress and fear of not taking those steps.
That does not mean that we don’t need help. Nor that we shouldn’t ask for it when we do. Which is difficult. I know. Many people – and I include myself in this – don’t want to be a burden, be it on family and friends or the taxpayer. In some societies – again, mine included – there’s still a lot of misunderstanding about mental health care. Whilst it’s not considered to be a sign of weakness, as it once was, you get labelled and seen as less reliable and resilient compared to people who have not had mental health support. That’s if you can even get support – waiting lists are several years long and treatment options are limited. It’s not easy, then, seeking and finding help. But, it’s necessary.
We’re not meant to face this world and all its challenges alone. Whilst modern society has much to recommend it, there are some things that people from the past took for granted that are now lost. For example, there’s another saying that it takes a village to raise a child. This, too, is true. When I was a baby, my mom and gran took it in turns to look after me. Then, when I was old enough to go to school, there were a group of stay-at-home parents who’d take turns looking after the kids in the hours between school and when the other parents got back from work. When my sister was born, my mom stayed at home until sis was old enough to attend pre-school, by which time I was old enough to help look after her. It’s different now for many couples. I know several people who’d make wonderful parents, but it takes two incomes to make ends meet, and childcare is eye-wateringly expensive. Fewer communities are close-knit – I know people who haven’t a clue who their neighbours are, even after years of living next to them. Life’s expensive, with fewer support networks than there used to be, and that limits people’s options.
Community is important. Offering help and support to others is important – when you are able to. It’s just as important to ask for help and support when you need it. You’re not a burden when you ask for help. Just as it feels satisfying to be able to help others, others will feel satisfied when they’re offered the opportunity to help you. It strengthens the bonds between you. Indeed, relationships are stronger when they’re balanced. There’s even a psychological theory that people will like you more when you ask them for a favour. The reason for this, it is proposed, is that we’ll justify doing the favour by assuming that we like the person. Of course, when you ask for favours again and again without giving much, if anything, in turn, the relationship becomes unbalanced in the other direction, and that can be damaging. The good thing is that we all of us have something to give, even if it’s as simple as some time and a listening ear.
By allowing others to help us, we are helping ourselves. That bit of support in times of need can help us overcome great obstacles. I will always be grateful to those who stood by me when I needed them. Using some examples from here on Writing.Com, I am grateful to those who have helped me improve my work. Those who taught me how to write a review of other people’s work. Those who have supported my groups, my contests and my events. Those of you who read my newsletters. Those who, when I was ill and absent, sent me snail mail to cheer me up. It does not take much to be there for someone in need. That’s something to keep in mind when you’re the person in need.
Of course, when it feels like there’s nobody who can help us, prayer can be a good source of support. It reminds us that we’re not alone in the universe. That we are known, cared about and heard. It is that knowledge that can strengthen us sufficiently to keep us going. God does help us to help ourselves.
Kit of House Lannister
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Wishing you a week filled with inspiration,
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Spiritual: July 05, 2023 Issue [#12052]
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