  Horror/Scary
This week: Edited by: W.D.Wilcox  
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A good, quality story beginning is a microcosm of the work entire. If you capture the right beginning, you've written a small version of the whole.
-Les Edgerton |
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In The Beginning
“The opening of your story carries an awesome responsibility.”
So writes, Les Edgerton, author of ‘Hooked’ (a how-to advice book about story openings) featured in this month’s Writer’s Digest.
If you’re like me, and the first paragraph doesn’t catch you, you're on to something else. So too is it with most agents and editors. Mr. Edgerton states that there are four goals for your opening scene: (1) to successfully introduce the story-worthy problem; (2) to hook the readers; (3) to establish the rules of the story; and (4) to forecast the ending of the story. If your opening fails to accomplish any one of these elements, then guess what—your opening will fail.
That’s pretty harsh.
From my experience, there are very few stories that even come close to filling that bill.
I’m a BIG believer on hooking your reader right at the very beginning, as most of my material will bear-out, but I question whether or not they ‘introduce the problem’, ‘establishes the rules of the story’ or even, ‘forecasts the ending’. Actually, I like my endings to be a surprise. I want my readers to react with a ‘slap to the forehead’ and a, “Oh man, I didn’t see that coming!” That’s what makes it for me. That’s what I write for. Now, I guess, according to Mr. Edgerton, I’m doing it all wrong.
Let’s take one of my story openings and see if all four of the goals are met.
‘The sky purged itself of an entire ocean, the water falling straight down through the windless night, shattering the mirror-like puddles on the blacktop, and then gushing along the gutters in seemingly endless torrents. Cameron Lomax loved the gray rain. There was nothing better for writing a good horror story, and he couldn‘t wait to get started. He hurried through the parking lot, ink pen gripped tightly in his right hand, clicking the top over and over again as he moved in for the kill. Click. Click. Click.'
-excerpt from "Mightier Than The Pen" by billwilcox
(1) Successfully introduce the story-worthy problem:
Well, Cameron loves bad weather, writes horror stories, and is rushing in to make a kill with his pen. Clicking his pen over and over also denotes he is either psychologically unstable, nervous, or very excited. Therein lies the problem. What's wrong with Cameron? What makes a horror writer want to kill for a story? I think step one is covered.
(2) Hook the reader:
I think that the fact that he is hurrying in to make the kill hooks the reader to want to find out what happens next. So, step two is covered.
(3) Establish the rules of the story:
The rules are (and they hold up throughout the entire story) that Cameron is not normal: he loves bad weather, writes horror, and kills. Those are the rules to his story. So I think that I have fulfilled that step.
(4) Forecast the ending of the story:
I believe I do, to an extent, forecast the stories outcome. The tale is about a haunted pen that keeps clicking throughout the story, even in the character’s nightmares, and eventually becomes the instrument of the writer’s demise.
So, maybe, this particular story fits the bill by meeting all four goals for an opening.
Give it a try. You take the test.
Examine the opening to one of your stories. See if it covers all four areas an opening is suppose to encompass to make it worthy of a read.
Until next time,
billwilcox
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STORIES FOR LATE AT NIGHT
| |  | Invalid Item
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#1247984 by Not Available. |
(Excerpt) The voice shook him. Jack opened his eyes and nearly dropped the deck in his hands. He no longer sat in his basement office. It was all gone, the computer, the desk, even that God-awful painting of dogs playing poker that Jade had gotten him. He sat in the room he had just imagined, down to the crookedly smiling man across the table from him. His heart turned over and his mind raced, grasping for a logical explanation.
| |  | This Old House (13+)
Struck By Lightning FF entry-- What's in a mirror, isn't always what's in a mirror.
#1281151 by PKG  |
(Excerpt) I climb out of bed and creep back up the stairs, down the long hallway to the mirror room door. The door stands ajar just as before, even though I know I locked it earlier. I push the door the rest of the way open and on the floor in front of the mirror is the dust cover.
| | | CRAWLSPACE (18+)
Matt keeps a journal of his last days on earth, unbeknownst to him.
#1259415 by spook |
(Excerpt) I heard drums today, from the East. At first it sounded like an explosion, from a vast distance, just BOOM and then nothing, and then BOOM BOOM. It was a beat. It reminded me of something but for the love of God WHAT IS IT?! A giant beating a war drum. I crawled under a weeping willow and hid there, for hours, clutching my backpack in front of me and listening to those horrible drums. When they finally stopped, right around sunrise, I almost cried. What’s happening to me? What’s going on? I have to get away from here.
| | | Invalid Item
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#1269760 by Not Available. |
(Excerpt) My way back to the living is what I was looking for; I had to feel again. I had to be alive. With this realization, the numbness was not as powerful. I could see snatches of how I had come to be here in this place.
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#1268829 by Not Available. |
(Excerpt) My flesh is rotting, and I came here to tell you my story before my brain rotted and turned into sludge, or whatever it does. I'd ask you to kill me, but I doubt you can kill a dead person.
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#1261443 by Not Available. |
(Excerpt) “Wine? Why I doubt Mrs Stokley will approve of wine in her house."
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#1263578 by Not Available. |
(Excerpt) Through her eyes, it was two hideous creatures which had hovered at her bedside anxious for her to expire. With gnashing teeth they poked at her with fingers of bone, drooling on her sheet. She wailed as they wrestled with her beloved against his rescue attempt. Her favorite black dress was hanging on a wall across the room, while muffled voices talked inside her closet.
| | | Invalid Item
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#1237633 by Not Available. |
(Excerpt) The figure steps towards me and slits my throat with its nails. I croak, but do not gasp. I am alive. A thin red line is now visible on my neck. Beads of blood slowly appear along it. The pain is unbearable, but I will not satisfy the figure with my screams.
{Excerpt) The extraction of his tongue, the severing of his thumbs, and castration with pliers, had all been done within hours of his capture, and still George Costa had no idea what his tormentor wanted.
(Excerpt) “Looky here, these figures carved in the wood ain’t angels. They’ve got wings, but they sure as hell ain’t angels. They look more like little devils or somethin', maybe demons.”
| | | Invalid Item
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#1280570 by Not Available. |
(Excerpt) I mean, everybody says that a good Stephen King novel scares them half to death.
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Paige Turner
Submitted Comment:
Wow! I don't think I've ever felt so anxious after reading a newsletter! What are your dreams like? I like your big font format, by the way. Helpful to eyes that get tired from squinting at the computer screen all day. Helped disturb me quicker, you could say.
daydreamer13
Submitted Comment:
WOW! What a great newsletter! Very entertaining, thorough, and easy to understand! Keep writing Wilcox, and I'll keep reading
GhostDragon
Submitted Comment:
hmmmm well well W.D. again, nice newsletter, well I find it to be. But that could be just because what you mentioned with the development of that guy next door, as I am thinking of writing another horror/scary story. One that's about a murderer who seems to be too good at what he's doing. (Btw W.D. if you think what goes on in your head is scary then think about this I got this idea from a dream!)
nomlet 
Submitted Comment:
I know none of my neighbors are whacked-out lunatics. None of them are named Wilcox!
appolloslady
Submitted Comment:
Wow, that sounds like a good idea for a story... very interesting, colorful and mind bogling, especially if you use a police officers POV for some of it too or maybe some other random person in the population who's following the crime spree and then becomes one of the victoms. I wonder what their last toughts would be. Would they run and try to hide, or would they just surender, knowing there was no hope?
swanreader
Submitted Comment:
I have never found one of your newsletters boring or ineffectual. You always put on a good read. Thanks for taking the time to entertain us and make us think.
-PenRising
K. Medeiros
Submitted Comment:
"We serial killers are your sons, we are your husbands, we are everywhere. And there will be more of your children dead tomorrow" -Ted Bundy
zwisis
Submitted Comment:
Bill, your newsletters are NEVER boring. Rest assured - they are probably the most inspirational and informative newsletters on the site. This one was no exception!
As for dealing with a guy like that... well, that's a tough one. And I'll wait for your book to come out to see how you deal with him! The world certainly is a dangerous place, and man is undoubtedly the most terrifying person in the horror genre.
SilverNickles
Submitted Comment:
That is a scary thought. I never dealt with my neighbors in my apartment complex. But you never know, my neighbor might have been in a traffic jam that was the last straw. Any of those reasons you mention can make a person snap, but who knows what would happen.
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Horror/Scary: June 27, 2007 Issue [#1791]
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