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A Voyage To Lilliput
--Jonathan Swift (30 November 1667 – 19 October 1745)
I have to be accurate; I am probably one of the few who have never read Gulliver’s Travels. But just recently, my daughter brought home a beautifully bound copy from school, and being a lover of all books, I began to devour the pages.
Of course, I knew of the grand adventure that Gulliver wandered into, but leave it to me; upon first opening the book, I fell upon the part where the Imperial Palace of Lilliput was on fire and read of the unique way in which Gulliver extinquished it.
It made me laugh; not so much because of what was written, but because of the sarcastic statement that Mr. Swift was implying all those years ago. It is probably the one instance in the story that most movies and cartoons have left out, or rewrote to better market the story.
If you’ve never read it, I will relate this small part to you:
It was not long before I had an opportunity of doing his majesty, at least as I then thought, a most signal service. I was alarmed at midnight with the cries of many hundred people at my door; by which, being suddenly awakened, I was in some kind of terror. I heard the word burglum repeated incessantly: several of the emperor’s court, making their way through the crowd, entreated me to come immediately to the palace, where her imperial majesty’s apartment was on fire, by the carelessness of a maid of honor. I got up in an instant; and orders being given to clear the way before me, and it being likewise a moonshine night, I made a shift to get to the palace without trampling on any of the people. I found that they had already applied ladders to the walls of the apartment, and were well provided with buckets, but the water was at some distance. Those buckets were about the size of large thimbles, and the poor people supplied me with them as fast as they could: but the flame was so violent that they did little good. I might have easily stifled it with my coat, which I unfortunately behind me for haste, and came away only in my leather jerkin. The case seemed wholly desperate and deplorable; and this magnificent palace would have infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if, by a presence of mind unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I had, the evening before, drunk plentifully of a most delicious wine called glimigrim which is very diuretic. By the luckiest chance in the world, I had not discharged myself of any part of it. The heat I had contracted by coming very near the flames, and by laboring to quench them, made the wine begin to operate my urine; which I voided in such a quantity, and applied so well to the proper places, that in three minutes the fire was wholly extinguished, and the rest of that noble pile, which had cost so many ages in erecting, preserved from destruction. 
Now that's a novel way to put out a fire!
Even in the 1600’s, authors were sticking it to their governments. Now you have to remember, Jonathan Swift was a clergyman, as was Lewis Carroll, who wrote Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, in 1865, but they both wrote satires on the way their government handled things.
Today, as I look at all the political nonsense we have to live through, I feel an uncontrollable urge to write a parody of 'the Obama kind' disguised as a children’s adventure story. Yeah, that’s the ticket, a children’s adventure story with talking animals and tiny people running around. Who would ever believe that I am being satirical when a cute little rabbit decides to steal all the vegetables from the farmer's garden and keep them all for himself?
*rubs hands together slyly* he-he-he-he  .
Until next time,
billwilcox
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Political Adventures
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A political satire from the Bush years, wrapped in science fiction paranoia.
#1526479 by Dr. Sky  |
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Feedback!
This is where I'm supposed to put writer's feedback, but... there wasn't any. It was as if I never wrote a newsletter last month at all.
Still, I will use this area to shamefully plug my stories. Why? Because I have no shame!
These are romantic stories because it's Valentines' Day, and also because romance is an adventure unto itself.
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Action/Adventure: February 11, 2009 Issue [#2887]
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