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Hi, I'm Sophy ~ your editor for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter. This week we'll talk about being sick ...  which is no laughing matter! |
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I Have a Code In My Nose!
I absolutely HATE being sick! I've had a pretty bad cold for the past week, and besides the obvious discomfort, there are other downsides to being sick, particularly if you are a woman.
If you are a man with a woman in your life, you probably have a warm, caring, nurturer to bring you soup and hot tea, fluff your pillows, replace your magazines, give you medicine with a smile, and put DVD's of old movies you've seen a hundred times into the player so you don't have to get out of bed. So being sick is a pretty good deal for you. Not so much if you are a women -- with or without a man in your life it's pretty much the same thing frankly! 
I have a wonderful, lovely husband I've been married to for over 22 years. He is a saint in many ways, and I am very lucky to have him in my life. Except when I'm sick. At first he's pretty good -- he offers to make me some hot tea or bring me some medicine. He tells me to stay in bed and rest, not to go to work, and to just relax, watch TV, read, and get well. But after the first hour or so of my illness, he sort of wanders off to watch golf and forgets I'm in another room, suffering. Sure he should stay away from me as much as possible to avoid getting sick himself -- but still, would it kill him to come check on me once in while?
The first day I was sick I called for him, my voice weak, asking for more hot tea. Of course he didn't hear me, so I tried again, calling a little louder. No response. Then I grabbed the phone and called his cell phone which, of course, he had turned off. I gave up and went to the kitchen myself to get my tea, where I found him making a sandwich. Awww, isn't that sweet, he's making me a sandwich, I thought foolishly to myself. That dream was dashed when he took a bite out of it.
"What are you doing out of bed?!?" he cries when he finally notices me, looking guilty with his sandwich but also trying to pull off a look of great concern for my feeble condition.
"I need more hot tea," I croak in response.
"Well I would have gotten that for you, why didn't you call for me?" he asks, chastising me for getting out of bed.
"I did call for you," I reply, calmly, "but you couldn't hear me."
"Well then," he says, patronizingly, "you should have called my cell phone."
I sigh. "I did call your cell phone -- it's turned off."
"Oh," he stammers, "sorry about that, the battery died and I was charging it. Go back to bed and I'll bring it to you." A few minutes later he brings me my tea. "Do you need anything else?"
"No, not now, thank you."
"Now next time you need something just call for me," he coos, covering me with the blanket. "I'll try to listen better, and I'll turn on my phone." And off he goes.
The next time I need something I call his cell phone, still turned off (he has the attention span of a gnat sometimes!) and end up going to the kitchen to get it myself because truth be told, it's just so much easier than trying to get his attention away from Tiger Woods big golf comeback. But he hears me and calls out, "Hey, while you are in there, would you mind bringing me a Diet Dew?"
I swear, in his mind, his 10 minutes of TLC has cured me. "Sure," I say, after a fit of coughing stops.
I need a wife! 
And don't even get me started on what babies men are when they get a sniffle -- or maybe I'll just have to cover that in a future newsletter!
Sophy |
Below you'll find some comedic offerings from other WDC members about being sick.
The first confirms my last point above regarding men being big babies when they get sick:
And a few more:
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
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Now for a few comments about my last newsletter on preparing for the Oscars:
From Michelle Broughton 
Things I love about Oscar night. . .
Things I love about Tony night. . .
Things I love about any award night. . .
The only thing more boring is any other reality show (reality? Riiiight!)
My brother wanted to know why everything had to be amazing. I told him those folks actually think they are. Now THAT's funny!
Actually, I LOVE reality TV, lol. I'm a bit of a reality TV junkie, sorry.
     
From THANKFUL SONALI Now What? 
Love this one! Apt, timely -- and what you've 'shown without telling' is -- if you're a comedy writer, look for comedy wherever you go.
- Sonali
Aww, gee, thanks Sonali, glad you enjoyed it.
From spazmom
My favorite acceptance speech is the one given by Anne Thompson for Sense and Sensibility -- she's a hoot. Good newsletter.
I think you mean Emma Thompson and I agree, she's a hoot AND a great actress/writer/director!
From PoisonAvy21
I love this newsletter about the Oscars!!!! I laughed until I cried on the floor!!!
I hope you were able to get off the floor!
From wakko71
Hey, aren't American made films winning at the Oscars anymore?
Hmmm, well, other than Slumdog Millionaire, a non-American-made film winning the Oscar this year, most of the other Best Picture winners for the past 10+ years have been American-made -- so I'd say American made films are doing just fine!  And it's great to have other countries making quality films as well -- the more the merrier I say!
Best Picture Winners ...
2000: Gladiator (Dreamworks/Universal)
2001: A Beautiful Mind (Imagine/Universal)
2002: Chicago (Miramax)
2003: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (New Line Cinema)
2004: Million Dollar Baby (Lakeshore Entertainment/Warner Bros)
2005: Crash (Lionsgate)
2006: The Departed (Plan B Entertainment/Warner Bros)
2007: No Country for Old Men (Miramax)
That's all for this month -- see you next time! And on behalf of the other regular Comedy Newsletter Editors, Robert Waltz  and Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH  remember to WRITE AND LAUGH ON! Sophy
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Comedy: March 25, 2009 Issue [#2959]
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