  Short Stories
This week: Perspective Edited by: Legerdemain  
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Perspective
I had a grandbaby arrive this week! It was so exciting. My daughter asked me to be on her labor coaching team and was miffed when I replied "Can I get back to you on that?" Of course I said yes, but hesitated because I wasn't so sure I wanted to see MY baby have a baby. Hey, I cried when she got her ears pierced...let's just say birth hurts a little more than that.
And yes, I cried when she had the baby, it's a beautiful boy. It was certainly enlightening to be witness to a birth from this perspective. All the little details you miss when delivering, I got to wander around and see. The tiny diaper and little cap waiting for the child, and then seeing my own child deliver a baby.
When writing your stories, be sure you stay in the narrator's perspective if that's the point of view you're using. If part of your story is being narrated by a driver of car who gets into an accident, be sure to remain in your driver's point of view. A man in a car accident wouldn't know at the moment who the other driver was, how far the car flew or what the police officer was doing when the call came in.
He would only know what happened to him, and the scene as he saw it. Point of view is almost like looking through a pair of binoculars, only the person whose eyes are looking through can see the action as they see it.
This month's question: What tips do you have for staying in POV?
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Excerpt: I was pecking through the tulip garden one day when the wet stuff started falling out of the sky.
Excerpt: Fear etched deeply into the face of Sharon Edwards as she huddled with her two children in the upstairs bathroom that night. It was a full moon, so Sharon, husband Jim, and their two little girls were finding out that the seemingly tall tales regarding the existence of werewolves should never have been dismissed as folly. Now it was simply a matter of survival.
Excerpt: For the first time in - oh, about 25 years - the fortune-teller's mind was a complete blank. The cards lay before her on the table, resplendent in their dazzling designs and colours, but completely devoid of meaning. This was ... deeply unsettling.
Excerpt: He said this with all the exuberance of a rambunctious, take the bull-by-the-horns five-year-old. Taylor's my grandson, my middle daughter's son, and a remarkable young man, if I do say so myself. Of course, you've all heard this before. I'm quite sure you've even said this before. But, it's true.
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Excerpt: ‘I am not his grandmother and she ceased to be my daughter since she got pregnant from the Master.’
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Excerpt: “There are monsters in our house, Lissa,” a high-pitched voice lisped in my ear, making my name sound like “Litha”.
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Excerpt: "Well, as long as you won't get mad. Promise you won't get mad."
"Mad? Mad about what?"
"Well, nothing really. I don't want you to get mad at me."
Excerpt: Jack heard the muffled closing of a door downstairs: the nanny had left for the night. He stepped into his bedroom quietly, his black-socked feet sliding along the hardwood floor. He and Kaylie had planned to buy a throw rug for this room years ago, but still it hadn’t been done. He made a mental note to purchase one for what seemed like the thousandth time.
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This month's question: What tips do you have for staying in POV??
Last month's question: What are some of your favorite sounds to use when evoking emotion?
dejavu_BIG computerprobs  explains: I like to use a number of sounds to evoke emotion, whispers, wind, rain, shuffling feet. All very muted, just at hearing level. breaking glass and soft sighs are good...
Zeke  answers: Sometimes it only takes the sound of a deep breath to create a scene.
inner_rain says: One of my favourite ways of showing emotion is to describe how the person is breathing (calm breaths or gasping for air), the amount of sweat he/she has on his/her brow (none or profusely), or if the person is fidgeting or not (playing with his/her hair, pulling on clothing, other objects or people).
dammy4real suggests: A writer wrote the best means of showing a feeling is closing your eyes and imagine the settlement of the ocean, the pecking sound of seabirds and the rumbling of the waters against shore.
ozarks3213 replies: Well, there's always the ominous footsteps approaching to instill a sense of dread or fear. I think my favorite would have to be the wind in the trees because it is just so versatile. That simple phrase can be adjusted in a variety of ways to convey everything from tranquil relaxation to torrential horror.
fyn  says: A faucet dripping. . . a husband's snoring . . .tree frogs (whether a deafening chorus or a hint of summer) . . .a dogs toenails on the floor . . .church bells . . . falling snow.
drifter46 submits: You know what they say... "Invalid Item"
Pony Tale mentions: This little article is so well-written! It says a lot and yet uses very little words. The ending is perfect. I can't find a single thing to fault. The saying "less is more" certainly applies to this article. Great job. I loved every word. Oh, and I learned a lot, too!
LJPC - the tortoise sends: Thanks for another satisfying and helpful newsletter. I very much enjoyed the light tone you used in your discussion of how sound is important beyond dialog and tone of voice. I especially enjoyed the replies to your question about dead bodies in last month's NL. They were hilarious!  Keep it awesome! -- Laura
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Short Stories: May 11, 2011 Issue [#4393]
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