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This week: Writing in Present Tense Edited by: Satuawany  
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| A good percentage of the young adult speculative fiction that's popular today is written in present tense. Particularly, it's the writers of dystopian stories who use it. A lot of readers complain that it's "chunky," or that it's a gimmick. |
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I can't tell you how to make a present-tense story popular, because so many of the popular ones are the ones readers say don't flow well (or, as the above description says, are "chunky"), but I can tell you it's not because they're in present tense.
Present tense puts a reader in the moment. That's good for certain kinds of stories. It tends to work well with young adult stories because people in that bracket are stereotypically known for being "in the moment."
It can also create a suspense that past tense narration cannot. If we're in present tense, we don't even know that there is a future.
Here are some of the main (negative) things happening in present-tense narratives, and how to avoid them.
Tense-flopping
Since you're in present tense, anything that happened "before" is the past, and so comes out in past tense. That's understandable and can even be a good storytelling tool, but some writers structure a present-tense story as if it's a past-tense story, which makes for some unnecessary tense-flops. Unnecessary tense-flops pull the reader out of the story, and make reviewers use that word "chunky."
The worst case of this is at the beginning of a chapter or scene, when a writer wants time to elapse, but doesn't want to skip over a few important points.
Let's say that in the chapter before this excerpt, the main character finished a duel with an antagonist (Earl Grey), and thereby earned a special position:
Earl Grey eyes me across the cafeteria. He still hasn't let go of the fact that I shamed him two weeks ago. During those weeks, he has ignored me, except for a few nights ago in the dorms.
He came by my bed and leaned down to whisper in my ear, "I'll get you back."
Now he carries his tray toward the far side of the room.
The first two sentences are fine. The past tense verb "shamed" fits in because it's a description of what things are "now." The present perfect "has ignored" is fine as well, except that it's setting up the past tense flashback that halts the forward progression of the scene.
That flashback is a sentence long, (and ends with the only dialogue in the example.) Some instances like this have more past tense in them, even flopping to "what's happening now" in between. You lose your reader that way.
It's so easy to avoid this. Instead of starting the new chapter (or scene) in the cafeteria, start it in the dorms. It's so incredibly easy, and yet, so few authors will do it. You don't have to spend a lot of words describing Earl Grey's visit to the protagonist's bed.
What you can do is build tension with that scene, even with only a paragraph or two---if we get to see it in present tense. If we get to feel the protagonist's reactions as they happen, then the flow of the story isn't interrupted. Because what interrupts the flow of a present tense story is the loss of the present tense.
Writing a past-tense story in present tense
This is the main problem, and the previous one I outlined is most often derived from it. A story has to be structured differently if it's in present tense. You cannot take a story that's in past tense, change all the verbs to present tense, and expect it to work.
You can luck out and find that it works, but that's rare.
You break the spell of present tense if you let the narrative speak as if it knows what will happen. Most present tense is also first person, and as that person is living in the story as it happens, he or she cannot know what will be.
Narrators who speak in past tense are telling the story from some point in the future, where they do know what happened---where they do know what's to come and can foreshadow eloquently.
That's not to say a present-tense narration can't have any foreshadowing---it just needs to be done in a way the reader can remember it, while the narrator is oblivious to the extent of its importance.
It is the main thing that makes present tense read like a "gimmick." You can't use writing methods the same way in present tense as you do in past tense. The "now-ness" of the narrative is key, but trying to treat it like a story that's already happened destroys it.
Don't accept the phrase, "It's chunky, but that's to be expected with present tense." It shouldn't be expected. You don't learn how to write present tense well because you want to be popular or published---there are plenty of popular and published present-tense novels that don't always flow very well.
You learn how to do it so that if your story becomes published and popular, you can also say it's well written. You can show readers they don't have to expect present-tense narratives to flow badly.
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| |  | Invalid Item
This item number is not valid.
#1848751 by Not Available. |
| | | Invalid Item
This item number is not valid.
#1851744 by Not Available. |
| |  | April 2005 (E)
They can't both be happy....(Only 400 words, trying to write a story in present tense)
#964446 by Le Chat Bleu  |
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Comments on my previous newsletter, "Descriptions"
The X writes:
Thanks for sharing! This is possibly the most helpful newsletter I've ever read, and I've read quite a few. Actually, this reminds me of a lesson my lit teacher gave me, guess I should have paid more attention to her.
I'm so glad! Thanks for writing in!
Midnight Dawn writes:
Just a side note about setting the accesses to "Registered Authors and Higher". I actually do this on all my stories on the advice of a published author. She said that if I ever intended to submit my stories for publication, I needed to be aware that some publishers would not even consider a story submission that had been posted on an internet site for open public viewing--at least not from an unknown, new writer. If one of my titles catches anyone's eye, they can always email me for the passkey, but just to be safe, I do restrict the access somewhat.:D
I've had the same advice. Thanks for outlining that. And thanks for reading!
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Fantasy: May 02, 2012 Issue [#5024]
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