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This week: Step 4 to Be a Better Writer Edited by: Vivian  
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We've discussed three steps so far in becoming a better writer: 1. Know the writing craft; 2. Have a plot; and 3. Develop characters that live. This issue, we'll address Step 4: Grab the reader's attention and keep it. Since the Mayan calendar was incorrect, we can now cover the last two steps.
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Grab the Reader's Attention and Keep It
We combine all that we've covered so far with developing a "hook" (getting the attention of the reader immediately) and keeping that interest and attention continuing throughout the writing. No step is more important than the others, but learning is easier if broken down into steps or areas.
Many readers will not read past a few paragraphs before tossing a book or story that hasn't captured their interest. I suggest that the "hook" comes within the first paragraph, if not the first sentence, of a story. Some experts say the hook needs to be set at least within the first page. One rule, remember the sooner we have the reader's interest, the more likely he will want to read more.
According to Les Edgerton, many good and even brilliant stories never get read past the first paragraph, or perhaps first page, because of a poor beginning.
If the first part of a story does not "grab" the reader and cause him to want to read more, the author has failed no matter how wonderful the rest of the story may be. Begin with a vivid scene.
The opening of a story should successfully set the stage for the reader, "hook" the reader, create with words the desire in the reader to want to read more.
At the start, the problem should be introduced. That means the problem is an event that changes the protagonist's world in some way, and the problem may not always mean trouble.The reader may not realize that what happens at the beginning is even a problem, only that it triggers a desire to know more.
For example, if Johnny is a character in a children's story (yes, writing for children follows the same guidelines and contains the same needs as any good work) and has never walked to school by himself before, only with an adult by himself, he starts his first walk with excitement and trepidation. If the author writes:
Johnny had never walked to school by himself before. His mother or grandmother had always walked with him, where is the "bang." This example "tells" the situation, but it does not "show" the story.
So, let's try showing and creating a "hook."
Johnny opened the door a crack. As he peeked out, he thought, Everything looks the same. He swallowed and opened the door farther. He stuck his head completely outside and visually searched the walk leading from the porch.
"Johnny," his mother said from behind him, "do you need me to walk to school with you again today?"
Johnny glanced over his shoulder. "Momma, I'm big enough to walk by myself now." He picked up his back pack and marched out the door. "I'm five years old now."
Dialogue in the first few paragraphs helps catch a reader's attention and helps the reader to "see" what is happening. Melissa Stewart says, "Put dialogue to work." A good way to engage the reader immediately is to have captivating dialogue.
One way to gain interest is to use strong action verbs: begin with some kind of action. The beginning of any writing should not be a dump for detail, description, or back story. Dumps anywhere in a writing is not good, but dumps at the beginning are death sentences for most stories.
We should continue our story with the use of active voice and action verbs (we'll discuss passive and active voice in Step 5). Action verbs show physical or intellectual activity. Action verbs equal stronger writing than state-of-being verbs.
Few people read boring material unless forced to do so for an assignment.
Next time we'll discuss Step 5: Show, Don't Tell.
***
Sources used in this newsletter include notes and lesson plans I've made over the years as well as
Harvey Stanbrough, "Stop interrupting," November 2006 The Writer; Les Edgerton, "HOOK, GRAB and PULL," August 2007 Writer's Digest; and Melissa Stewart, "Write for children -- 12 steps to success," June 2006 The Writer. |
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Words from Our Readers
DoctorH 
Thank you for this editorial; I found it interesting. Can you give me some tips how I might properly self-edit my writings to make them more readable? Thanks in anticipation.
Let your writing rest a while before reading it again to edit. Read your work aloud. Print out your writing and edit. The problem is our brains "see" what we wanted to be there, so allow others to read and edit, especially those who are good writers.
willielinn
I joined WDC less than two months ago. Having submitted just three small pieces for review, I consider myself a complete novice. The critiques received here at WDC have been extremely helpful, and I have learned much. I have only gratitude and the highest respect for those who have helped me.
I have never tried writing before. I would like to know if writing, in the end, is writing by committee. If so, how much of initial author usually gets lost in the mix after screening with a spell/grammar checker, and applying the changes and corrections suggested by five excellent editors.
I know the items that reside in my portfolio are now cleaner, flow better, and are generally more polished. I am very pleased with the results. I only wish to know if this is the usual way of things.
By the by, never before have I worked so hard over so few words , nor enjoyed the doing of a thing more. I am hooked.
Willielinn
P.S. I find these little classes very helpful.
willielinn
Yes, this is the way of things unless the writer wishes to write only for himself. Then poor writing doesn't matter. IF a writer has a manuscript accepted for publishing, the editing from strong presses is extremely vigorous. If material isn't edited and bettered, the writing for readers would be worse than it already is.
Rebecca - expiring
In your article, you suggest to use action in the middle of dialogue: "Where else would he hide," the detective pointed at the circling helicopters, "with all escape routes covered?"
I was under the impression (perhaps falsely) that you only ever use a comma with dialogue when it contains a dialogue tag like "he/she said." For instance, I learned that it's tantamount to treason to have "A long line of dialogue and then a tag that says," she sighed. If that's read as a dialogue tag, the whole line must be said while sighing (which is near impossible and audibly silly).
Would a more appropriate usage be: "Where else would he hide,"--the detective pointed at the circling helicopters--"with all escape routes covered?" OR "Where else would he hide?" The detective pointed at the circling helicopters. "All escape routes are covered."
I'm not sure where you obtained the idea that the only time a comma is used with dialogue is with a dialogue tag. I studied English grammar and taught it for many, many, many years and never heard or read that. Yes, the example and information I presented is correct.
Quick-Quill 
Half of my novel takes place near the Appalachian Mtns. I want to show dialect in their dialog but not so much it detracts from the story. Sigh, what to do? I agree that actions and setting, have a lot to do with it also. "Ya'll have a Merry Christmas!
The best way is to pick a few examples of dialect to use, such as "ain't," dropping the g off the ends of words, etc. Just be sure that the wording doesn't get lost in the dialogue so that readers become frustrated.
Quick-Quill
Note on "Plot" I love the line "If "writers" don't want to write so others can and will truly enjoy the writing, then they write for themselves. If they are pleased, then it doesn't matter if anyone else reads their work or not." That is why I am here on WDC. I want to write what I like and find something that others will like, too.
I write because I want others to enjoy my words, not just myself. That's why I continue to read, take workshops, go to conferences, etc. -- so I can continue to improve my writing.
Steve adding writing to ntbk.
Thank you for revealing the C-Note shop under submitted work. The one I submit today pays homage to Moderators who are tireless and hard workers in the halls of the WdC.
Glad to see your issue is pristine, praying your recovery period from the shoulder surgery is progressing well. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you.
Copenator out! BA,MDiv
The shoulder continues to improve, but it's soooooooo slow. However, I'll get there. Thanks.
Thank you for joining me again. I'll be back with Step 5: Show, Don't Tell next time around.
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For Authors: January 15, 2013 Issue [#5461]
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