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This week: Step 5 to Be a Better Writer Edited by: Vivian  
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First of all, I apologize for initially titling Step 4 as Step 5 in the series. I did change the title to Step 4, but after newsletters had been sent. However, this editorial is indeed Step 5. We've discussed the need to prepare to be a good writer, the need to have a plot, to develop interesting and believable characters, and to interest the reader from the beginning. This time, we'll discuss the need to show rather than to tell the reader what is happening.
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How to Show, not Tell
Show, don’t tell brings the reader into the story. They can "see" what is happening, rather than to be told what happened. Using common sense when doing so. Yes, at times "telling" is necessary, but using it should be seldom, not constant. Also having a character stand in front of a mirror and describe himself if not showing, but another way of telling.
Showing allowed the reader to see, hear, and feel what happens or happened. Active voice and strong action verbs create "showing." Writing, whether fiction or nonfiction, needs to live in the mind of the reader.
One difference between showing and telling is the difference between active and passive voice. Active voice, formed by using action verbs, is strong writing. Passive voice, often formed by using state-of-being verbs as main verbs or helping verbs of by using a form of the verb "have," creates weaker writing.
With active voice, used for showing, the subject does the acting.
Examples: The boy threw the ball.
I read the book.
With passive voice, used for telling, something else does the acting to the subject, or the to have verb is used when not needed (use of perfect tense)
Examplex: The ball was thrown by the boy.
I have read the book.
Good writing avoids use of have, had, has as helping verbs unless absolutely necessary: passive voice = weak writing. Past perfect tense is the use of had + a main verb. Past perfect is good to begin and end flashbacks (had + verb). Middle of flashback uses normal past tense. End of flashback goes back to past perfect for a sentence
or two. The rest of a story should be written in past tense, or in present tense IF the writer knows how to use present tense effectively (much harder to write and harder for readers to follow effectively). Another time, we will discuss writing in past or present tense.
Let's now discuss action verbs, state-of-being verbs, and other passive voice problems:
Action verbs show intellectual or physical activity and create strong writing.
State of being verbs (is, am, are, was, were, be, been, being) when used as main verbs or
as helping verbs creates passive voice, weak writing.
Perfect tense (use of has, have, had as helping verbs only) creates passive voice,
weak writing.
Yes, sometimes the use of state of being verbs and perfect tenses are necessary in writing, but often they are the result of lazy writing.
Examples: The man was typing up the boat. Weak
The man tied up the boat. Stronger
The man has tied up the boat. Weak
The man tied up the boat. Stronger
Let's all try to make our writing stronger, more interesting, and more believable. An article I wrote about show, don't tell is . Perhaps it may make understanding easier. |
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Words from Our Readers
Tao writer 
Thank you for the advice about capturing readers with the hook. During the final draft phase of my short story Between the Masses - I refined my hook to bring the audience into the story right away. In my second attempt at a short story - I used dialogue to bring the reader into the mind of the character right away. More practice needed - but good advice is always welcomed... ; )
shaara
Your explanations and tutorage just get better and better. Bravo! Nicely done, my friend.
Shaara
Elle - on hiatus 
I look forward with eager anticipation for your 'show, don't tell' newsletter. It's the biggest stumbling block for me. I have seen a lot of debate about it on WDC but when seeing examples like the one you gave above, and having had some people turn my own words into examples for me, I know this is what I need to work on. Waiting with bated breath,
Elle
Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm 
Very true! Dialogue does capture the reader's interest. Although I've read books with the same "hook" and almost all of them deliver on that promise of a good story while some tend to disappoint entirely. I read one book (I know it's only one out of many but I give books a chance even when I read a few struggling pages where most readers loose interest)and as I went deeper into the story, the characters were so unreal, the dialogue and vivid description couldn't save the story no matter how good the plot was. When the Twilight books came out, I wanted to see what the commotion was about. I saw people read them and when I asked they said 'amazing'. Perhaps. I may not be a published not a good writer for that matter, but those book left me wondering about so many things that I left them unfinished. I couldn't find a reason why the main male character was so 'great and amazing'. Just my two cents. *Bigsmile*
billwilcox
Spot-on Viv, as always, another informative newsletter.
J.W. Knight 
Step Six... Always use an editor no matter how good you think you're doing.
Your article this week says.
This week: Step 5 to Be a Better Writer
I think you meant step 4 :)
Yes, I messed up on the subject line, and I've apologized. And having someone edit a newsletter isn't always possible, but having faults is easy. But even when someone edits, he/she doesn't always look at the subject line. *sigh*
Charles Curry
I began a novel with a chapter to introduce the characters that wasn't very dramatic. The story proper began in the next chapter with a sudden killing. Any comments or reactions ?
Not catching the reader's attention causing the reader to lose interest quickly. However, whether a writer does anything about it is his/her problem.
jack-tyler
Actually, the Mayan calendar was spot-on. It was our modern need for melodrama that came up short...
*Crab* ~ Mr Crusty ~ *Crab*
Which means what about the newsletter? Just wondering.
Zheila
Hi Vivian;
My name is Zheila. I read your e-mail about how to hook the reader at the geginning. This might be fine with children books, but I do wirte documentary and I a novice. What do you suggest for that style of wrting please. I sure do welcome any advice. Thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely,
Zheila
Children are not the only ones who need something to attract their attention and cause them to want to read more. Even documentaries can be written to be interesting. I suggest a person learn to be a good writer and then adapt to whatever genre or type writing he does.
TopMilenko
Start by setting the hook, not detailing a 100 page biography of the scene. I LIKE IT! Thanks!
Lisa Noe 
Thanks for a very informative and interesting newsletter I have enjoyed it and got alot from it the last few times. I have learned the following:1. Know the writing craft; 2. Have a plot; and 3. Develop characters that live. Grab the reader's attention and keep it. I look forward to the next issue. ~Lisa Noe~
Thank you, all, for the kind words and for some not so kind. I like hearing whatever anyone has to share.{
Hope everyone has a Happy Valentine's Day.
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For Authors: February 12, 2013 Issue [#5508]
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