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This week: Dealing with Emotion, with Horror Edited by: Vivian  
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I sat at my computer to write my article for a newsletter about writing conferences, and the events of this week, the horrific tornadoes and their damage, filled my mind until I have to address the fear, the helplessness, the hopelessness, and even the relief. Those of us who have a deep faith hang tight to that stabling force, but the emotions still remain, sometimes strangling us.
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Dealing with Emotion, with Horror
As writers, we have a way to manage, to use those daunting emotions and experiences; we can and should write. We can incorporate the churning agony into words that might help others understand, to feel, to know. Suffering brings realism to our writing if we can show through words what we see, feel, hear.
As a tornado raced over our house May 19, the day before the mighty EF5 tried to destroy Moore, Oklahoma again, the shock of the house trembling and the pounding of debris hitting the walls left me frozen, scared beyond measure, for a few seconds. Then I hurried to the door to face plywood in our breezeway and tree branches the size of small trees scattered everywhere. A neighbor across the street had roof damage, but all the branches on our side of the street missed our house and vans, as well as our neighbors’ houses on either side of us. My heart thumped faster than usual for some time before settling back to its regular pattern, and then I felt relieved and thankful. That same tornado touched down less than a quarter-mile away before lifting and building as it sped toward areas to the east, churning destruction across several towns and communities, killing two, leaving many without houses, cars, clothing, or belongings. At least most had memories because they lived. I never so feared weather before, but I did then. Having one nearly touch down on one's roof can do that.
On television, I watched as the killer tornado developed and built on May 20, 2013, heading toward a town only twenty miles south of where I live. With tens of thousands of people, I followed its path across my homeland. I cried when it cloaked itself in billows of people’s lives. My heart broke when it flatted houses, business, and, worst of all, schools. I sat glued to the set as television helicopters gave us a view of hell. I heard the cries for help. I saw the terror on faces. I felt the pain shooting through people as they dug with hands, boards, pieces of metal to reach children in the shambles that once were schools, to reach individuals and families buried under what once were homes and businesses. The shot of a policeman carrying the blanket-wrapped form brought back memories of the Federal building bombing in downtown Oklahoma City year before. Tears streamed down my cheeks, as they do now. The empty yet suffocating terror of that day still fills the center of my chest. I sat watching and could do nothing. The helplessness and hopelessness became a heavy load on my mind as I knew I could do nothing but watch the nightmare unfold and the frantic searches continue all through the night. I also saw the love and joy when loved ones reunited and tried to absorb one another with hugs.
Words cannot completely portray all I saw, heard, and felt this week of horror, grief, and despair. However, they can help me deal with all those emotions and help me share them with others. The strangest feeling for me has been relief. I told someone that I selfishly felt relieved that my family and I only received a very glancing blow from the tornado invasion. I’m thankful, so very thankful and relieved. I in no way am glad that others suffered and died, but I can’t help but be relieved we didn’t. Survivor guilt is alive and well within me. I am fortunate because no child in my family was harmed. We don't have to plan another funeral for a baby. Scars torn open by the wounds of others as they searched and found their children. The screams I can't hear still echo through my mind, the screams of parents who must now bury their babies. The cries of children who no longer have a mother or a father or maybe neither. Yet, in the rubble of Moore, of Luther, of Carney, of Shawnee, of areas not in towns or cities, the strength of those surviving sends lights of hope as they already talk of rebuilding.
In time, the horror will fade, and after years, we may become more complacent. Even with all the warnings blasted from the radio and television, we’ll once again say to ourselves that we won’t be hit. If I ever begin to think I will not be in danger when the sirens scream, I will read my words and then find shelter, praying all the while. |
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Words from Our Readers
Last issue I wrote about how good or poor grammar affects people even in business. Some readers understand the need for good grammar and support my editorials (which are meant to help writers IMPROVE. However, some defend the right to write however they wish, poor grammar and all, and see no need to improve.
blunderbuss
Thank you for the newsletter. I checked out Lesson 1 - The Evil Comma and it was useful - sometimes you just want what you THINK you know to be confirmed!
cuzzin cecil 
Grammar, both good and bad is part of life. I would never tell anyone they need perfect grammar to be a writer. Even if they refer to their Grandma as "Grammar". A review remark is valid but I think we need everyone to contribute if they have a story to tell. I hate the misuse of there, their, and they're as well as your and you're but that is more often than rare. I write as it comes to me then go over it time after time. When I finally post it in perfect condition. The next day I find the "Grammar Gremlins" hit me overnight. Go figure.
KRHolbrook
Grammar is everyone's friend when used properly. Sometimes people will write a story the way a person talks in reality, and that's fine if a story is in a character's voice. But if not, then the narrator should not sound like a long-winded person who can't stop and take a breath by using a period or comma. Nor should they sound like a valley girl. If people can't take a critique that focuses on their grammar, then they should pick up a grammar book and try to at least learn the basics.
Angus 
Excellent Newsletter, Vivian! I couldn't agree with you any more. I tend to point out writer's mistakes, and I know I've probably made a lot of enemies on WdC for it, but I can't help it; it's a pet peeve of mine. When a 'writer' doesn't use proper grammar and punctuation to the point where the piece is unreadable, then why even try to review it?
Quick-Quill 
Viv-In response to the above response. That's the problem. The "and" changes the sound in my ear to hear the "I" If no and, "me" is inserted. Go figure. *Frown*
For those who don't remember the post from last issue, where the reader said for Jerry and I sounded correct but for Jerry and me didn't, this is the person's reply. Remember the test, if you use the preposition and delete the first noun and the conjunction, does what remains make sense? And is a conjunction which joins equal things; that's all it is.
Deb 
Thanks for being positive about punctuation and Grammar. I really appreciate the addition of the editor's picks. Sometimes it is hard to remember where to find a quick answer and these sites will be helpful. I have already added Grammerama to my favorites! Thanks
Lynn McKenzie
Excellent article concerning grammar, although the misuse of "it's"/"its" is a punctuational issue. Nevertheless, proper grammar, punctuation and spelling are an absolute necessity in business as well as in writing. The best way to acquire these skills is to read, read, READ--although if the material you're reading isn't properly written from a technical standpoint, then it won't help.
Punctuation is a part of grammar.
Winnie Kay 
You have eloquently expressed the importance of using proper grammar and punctuation in EVERYTHING you write, Vivian. I agree!! If you don't care enough to edit your writing—whether it be a novel, poem, or resume—no one is going to take you seriously.
dwarf2012
To me, sloppy submitted writing is lazy and shows a lack of effort. Unfortunately,with texting and instant messages, well written prose may disappear. I hope not.
I also think people defending poor grammar are defending their ignorance.
Please keep writing your newsletters. I keep each one.
Thank you for your comments.
Another issue has gone to press. Perhaps next issue I can write about the importance of writing conferences. Please share what topics you would like to see.
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For Authors: May 29, 2013 Issue [#5692]
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