  Comedy
This week: Out of Bounds Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
-Marilyn Monroe
I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a situation beyond their control is not funny to them or their families.
-Maria Shriver
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
-Dolly Parton |
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You know how I knew I'd never be a lawyer?
Because I can't pass a bar.
I was sitting in one in New York City a few years ago, and there were comedians. I mean real, paid comedians who, unlike me, don't tell their jokes just for the pleasure of seeing their audience wince in agony.
One of 'em asked me where I'm from, and despite my better judgement, I played along. "Virginia."
Dude laughed and started going on about pickup trucks and sister-marrying.
Now, I've owned pickup trucks, but have never, to my knowledge, married my sister. So I could have been offended. But I don't offend easily. Such jokes say more about the narrow mind of the comedian than about the 8.5 million or so of us who live in Virginia (by coincidence, that's almost exactly the number of people living in all the boroughs of New York City).
Other people, though - some people get offended at the drop of a hat. Or a mic. It's like they're daring us to say something offensive, just so they can play the victim. Some are doing just that. Others are simply thin-skinned.
The thing about comedy is that, inevitably, someone gets hurt. All the best jokes out there involve someone in a bad situation - humiliated, in pain, facing a crisis, dead or dying, caught up in a stereotype, or whatever. It's true - think about all the jokes you know, and you'll see what I'm talking about. Even the lame one I started this editorial with has that feature; in this case, the joke implies that the narrator, me, is an alcoholic. Even puns pass this test; the humor in a pun is not in the wordplay itself, but in the pain it inflicts upon the reader or listener.
What was really going through my mind when the guy tried insulting an entire state with me as the punching bag was, "But that's not Virginia. That's West Virginia."
And so I realized I wasn't any different. My mother-in-law at the time was from West Virginia, and she's about as normal an American as you can get. Okay, so she met her second husband at a family reunion, but that's beside the point. Which is that there's a reason why jokes are the way they are: they're our way of dealing with the pain of life.
So how do we avoid offending? Well... we don't. I mean, not specifically. As I said, someone's going to be offended. The best we can do is to consider how our words might affect others. I don't mean we should always consider whether someone will take offense, because guaranteed someone will - just to think about whether we're being hurtful or helpful. There's a lot of gab around the internet about "punching up" vs. "punching down" - basically, the idea that it's okay to make fun of people in privileged positions, but not of people who aren't in such positions - but I don't think that fully covers it. For example, during Obama's presidency, he was - as all presidents are, and should be - mocked on a regular basis. Even his wife was the frequent butt of jokes, including jokes about her butt. But pretty much everyone agreed that their kids were off limits, and it's hard to get more "privileged" than being the offspring of the president. There's more to it than always keeping in mind relative social status - there's also just plain humanity.
Now, like pretty much everyone else, I often open my mouth and spew out things that hurt people. It's part of being human and alive. I make fun of West Virginia and New Jersey and lawyers and alcoholics on a pretty regular basis. And I joke about death, because that's what I do to come to terms with mortality - and that's sure to offend someone, somewhere, who maybe just lost, or is about to lose, a loved one.
And if you do hurt someone, don't double down on being a dick by trying to defend what you said or wrote. Don't hide behind free speech laws - the fact that it was legal to say what you did doesn't mean it's okay. And definitely don't brush it off with yet another quip. Accept the criticism, apologize, learn from it. In the future, make better jokes. |
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Last time, in "Koan-y Island" , I went to seek wisdom.
🌕 HuntersMoon  : *gasp* *snort* *cough* Sorry, just a passing paroxysm.  Oh, OK, if you insist - clever write and cute story. BTW - you deserved the smack. Ken 
I often do.
Prosperous Snow celebrating  : Robert,
I always look forward to reading your editions of the newsletter. This issue is especially funny, and it's just what I need to brighten my Wednesday morning with laughter.
Thanks for the kind words.
Merry Mumsy  : So what you're saying is . . . you need to shave your beard to gain wisdom?  No, wait . . . I think I missed something. 
No, no, ducks make everything funnier.
the Wordy Jay  : "Clearly, everyone was so overwhelmed by my clever wit that they dissolved into paroxysms of laughter rather than leaving comments."
That got me!
I'm glad something did.
That's all for me for June - see you next month! Until then,
LAUGH ON!!!
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Comedy: June 28, 2017 Issue [#8363]
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