*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/899-.html
Comedy: February 22, 2006 Issue [#899]

Newsletter Header
Comedy


 This week:
  Edited by: The Milkman
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

When writing your next comedy story, poem, essay or eulogy, keep in mind these quotes that I found in the "Toastmaster's Treasure Chest"...

A man shows his character by what he laughs at --- German Proverb

I think Comedy writing is also a good indicator of what kind of person you are. So please take into consideration who it is you are laughing at.

Laughter: The sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it principally in one spot --- Josh Billings

You know he is right and the one spot to have it shown is right here in the Writing.Com Comedy Newsletter.

We like to hear people laugh, but not when we're chasing our hat down the street --- Author not listed

So write about chasing your Stories.Com baseball hat down the street and hopefully your reviewer won't say they laughed at you.

A pun is the lowest form of humor ~~~ when you don't think of it first --- Oscar Levant

My advice to beating your friends to the punnies, especially on Scroll... learn to type.

Lastly, and this tidbit will need no motherly advice from me...

No young man ever expects to grow up and be as dumb as his father --- Author not listed.

If you think you have what it takes to write humor, then you will want to check out this comedy inspired group held by my good friend melodyofmusic. I might even divulge a couple of my writing tips...

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1005127 by Not Available.






~!~ ~!~ ~!~ ~!~ ~!~ ~!~ ~!~


Word from our sponsor

ASIN: B004PICKDS
Amazon's Price: Price N/A


Letter from the editor

Donating...


In the last couple of months I've been to the doctor's office so many times that I'm beginning to think that someone donated my body to science. I'm a breeding ground for an infection on my right leg just above where I got kicked by a old nag. Nope not my ex-wife either, an actual horse. I'm on antibiotics for the infection and Lotriman for the itchy skin.

There is a bacteria taking up residence in my left ear, and "hear" I thought that I had another one of my ear infections. The cure for this ailment is rather tricky, if I follow the doctors orders I'll be putting these drops in my affected eye or my right ear. Either the doctor wants me to watch what I hear or this bacteria is so far inside of my head that the only way to treat it is by putting the solution in the wrong ear and hope it drains over to the infected ear.

I've been poked and prodded (literally) by a nurse practitioner with thick fingers and latex gloves. I've had things stuck under my tongue and cuffs wrapped around my arms. Lights have been flashed in my eyes, and I've been asked to follow a finger or two with only my eyes. There was even a slew of questions that I had to answer and some of these questions were worse than bending over and grabbing my socks.

I was able to say "No" to questions like do I do anything that the Surgeon General would deem unhealthy and Writing.Com would classify as Non-E Rated. Believe it or not I was asked if I have nightmares.

A nightmare of mine is turning on a computer and not being able to log onto Writing.Com and submitting a Comedy Newsletter Editorial. (Which is no longer a nightmare since it happened to me last month and for my loyal reader...I'm sorry for the inconvience that caused).

Speaking of donating my body to science, is that also done by checking a box on the back of your driver's license? I know in Pennsylvania there is a place to check if you want to be an organ donor, which I had to check "No" for two reasons. 1) I never had an organ worth donating and 2) I couldn't play one even if I owned one. I spent all of my music lesson money on... well would you believe paper? That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


** Image ID #812578 Unavailable **

                   Logo for Senior Moderators - small


Editor's Picks

Red is
Mary's Little Rhyming Problem  (E)
Is Mary sure she's found a cure?
#862342 by deemac
Did the doctor really find a cure?

Orange is
 The Doctors Appointment  (18+)
I just HATE doctors and heres why!
#910456 by Elad Nostaw
My latest experience weren't this bad.

Yellow is
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#823474 by Not Available.
Here is an interesting cure.

Green is
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#881886 by Not Available.
I guess the waiting room at the VA Hospital is kind of mellow compared to this one.

Blue is
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#284736 by Not Available.
My symptoms were just as bad.

Indigo is
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1053443 by Not Available.
Talk about your split personalities.

Violet is
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#785385 by Not Available.
I'd rther stay sick.

 
Submit an item for consideration in this newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form

Word from Writing.Com

Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
         https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form

Don't forget to support our sponsor!

ASIN: B07N36MHWD
Amazon's Price: $ 7.99


Ask & Answer

Until next month this is The Milkman Logo for Senior Moderators - small saying, "Good laughs make good friends".

Also take a look at "Invalid Item" 

*Bullet* *Bullet* *Bullet* Don't Be Shy! Write Into This Newsletter! *Bullet* *Bullet* *Bullet*

This form allows you to submit an item on Writing.Com and feedback, comments or questions to the Writing.Com Newsletter Editors. In some cases, due to the volume of submissions we receive, please understand that all feedback and submissions may not be responded to or listed in a newsletter. Thank you, in advance, for any feedback you can provide!
Writing.Com Item ID To Highlight (Optional):

Send a comment or question to the editor!
Limited to 2,500 characters.
Word from our sponsor
ASIN: 0910355479
Amazon's Price: $ 13.99

Removal Instructions

To stop receiving this newsletter, click here for your newsletter subscription list. Simply uncheck the box next to any newsletter(s) you wish to cancel and then click to "Submit Changes". You can edit your subscriptions at any time.


Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/899-.html