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Alliteration
This is like deja vu all over again. ~ Yogi Berra
What is alliteration? It is the repetition of sounds or sound clusters in two or more different words across successive sentences, clauses, or phrases. To further complicate the definition, assonance would be correspondence of similar vowels and consonance would be similar consonants. Alliteration is a literary device that many think of as primarily for poetry. For example:
Keats
"beaded bubbles winking at the brim"
Tennyson
"The moan of doves in immemorial elms,
And murmuring of innumerable bees."
And in "Beowulf"
Cunningly creeping, // a spectral stalker
a sleeping soldier, // slashed at the flesh
that any would harm // their elk-horned hall,
greedily gorging // on gigantic gobbets.
It is not just for poetry...it's everywhere! It's in our everyday language: Ford Fiesta, Mickey Mouse, and As Seen on TV. And what about sports? "Sweet Sixteen, ThreePeat, Final Four"
Vini, Vidi, Vici!
Getting back to Short Stories...there's something about the way alliteration rolls off the tongue that makes it memorable. Nursery rhymes, tongue twisters, jump rope songs, and alphabet books are filled with alliteration. Common phrases, some which sound cliché, use alliteration.
Dumber than a box of rocks
Down and dirty,
Down in the dumps,
Slow sensuous smile
Through thick and thin
Look before you leap
Alliteration can be used in story writing just as poets use it, like the subliminal message of Tennyson's bees. The sound of the words suggests the sound the reader might hear. Another classic, "the soft, whispering sigh of the breeze", clearly projects sound a writer wants to demonstrate. Take a look at a line from "Beowulf". Could you see "greedily gorging on gigantic gobbets" in a horror story?
Alliteration is nearly musical, a reader feels the words in rhythm, whether it is the soft roll of "l", the hiss of the "s" or "ck" a hard consonant emphasizing, and it appeals to them. The rhythm and speed of a story can be changed with an alliterative phrase. Children especially like to read stories with alliteration. Give alliteration some consideration when working on your next story.
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Here are some stories you might like reading. Be sure to rate and review!
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Excerpt: The enemy was growing. Like wispy skeletons they crawled slowly but relentlessly forward and upward, millions of miniature swords reaching from the ground. If they were not stopped soon, they would engulf the castle and it would vanish into a great green darkness from which nothing could return.
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#1074273 by Not Available. |
Excerpt: Built in the middle of Cape Charles there sits an old school building that has been transformed into a small art gallery, pretending to be a big city museum. Each room of the gallery holds a few paintings, mostly done by local artists, but there are a few painting done by bigger names that were donated by locals. Each room is painted in soft muted colors and they hold six to eight paintings. Before each painting there is a comfortable bench for people to sit and take in the beauty of each piece of art.
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#1076824 by Not Available. |
Excerpt: The old swing moved slowly back and forth, propelled only by the wind. The rusty hinges, which held it fast to the beams, protested loudly at the unfamiliar activity.
Excerpt: Corbin still remembered that winter, the great flood of 2002. He could still picture the water, its trail of cleansing destruction. He still laughed at the thought. In actual fact the flood was his favourite story from his time in the flat in Maple Grove.
Excerpt: Sometimes what constitutes as a culinary delight can be a choking nightmare to an unsuspecting palate. I refer, of course, to Japanese sushi—a raw piece of fish about the size of a hacked-off finger and stretched across a scoop of sticky rice.
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#1071308 by Not Available. |
Excerpt: Memory is not always the most reliable. De je vous may be more than reality..
At first, the question confused him. But, even the surroundings were strange. He had been in hospitals all over the country. He spoke to a waiting visitor, “The one thing that is the same in every hospital is the smell. I know that, of course. I’m a doctor. All hospitals have that certain kinda’, funny smell, but not this one.”
Excerpt: Summer in Felton, Delaware meant swimming in Killen’s Pond. The area is a state park today but in the sixties Killen’s Pond was just a small rural lake surrounded by farm fields and forest with a big dirt parking lot and picnic area at one end. There was just room enough for a half dozen powerboats to pull water skiers single-file around the shore.
Excerpt: Amanda glided in and out of the early morning mist as if she were hovering off the ground. Her tempo, fast by most standards, was casual for her. Her jogging shoes made almost no sound as they floated over the wooded trail, while her visible breath shot forth in rhythmic intervals, coinciding with her footfalls. |
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This month's question: What are some of your favorite alliterative phrases?
Last month's question: What is your edit method on "tells" in your stories?
Suggestions from:
Elana Jefferson 
I really loved this newsletter! I don't know how many times I have said that golden rule in my reviews: SHOW NOT TELL.
Hmmm...How do I edit my stories for that? I kind of edit as I write. After I write a few paragraphs, I look back and read it, making all the little changes so that most of the TELL gets kicked out.
That's one good method.
stephenm
Thanks for that. I am slowly coming to grips with the difference between the two. I particularly found the quote from Tara K Harper useful, I like the idea of emotional qualifiers; instead of telling 'fearless' show it by having the hero charge boldy at the rampaging bull ...
Now to put it into practice.
Thanks again
Hawk
I hope he's not wearing red! 
Brians Next Novel Almost Done!
Thanks for mentioning my published novel with the comment I submitted two newsletters ago--how kind of you!
As for your latest question, honestly there are times when I tell because it will give me a way of thinking of how to show the reader something. I don't worry so much about show v. tell the first time through a story, but othere are times on edits and re-writes where simply looking at the telling will give me an idea for how to show it more appropriately.
Another great method. 
foxypaige6
Well, to edit parts that might lack the 'showing' factor I first see if it is necessary. I do this because sometimes, there are instances in which telling is the best way to go, especially if you do not wish to or need to evoke certain emotions in your readers at the time. I then determine what may need elaboration and I try to act it out myself. I am into theatre and it really helps to simply do/say/or pose as your character to add depth to your writing.
*kayla*
Wonderful idea!
bazilbob
I think it's important to know that sometimes it's better to tell than show, they both have advantages and disadvantages, although the majority of a story should be shown, not told. Telling is important to pick the pace up a bit, it's a lot quicker and more direct, if you show all the time, the reader will get bogged down with all the details, and you could fall into the trap of being too abstract. I just though I'd put in a good word for telling too.
Thank you! Great comment!
schipperke
If your readers want to peruse a wonderful example of great detailed writing, check out Susan Vreeland's The Forest Lover. You will feel like you are in the wilds of Canada with her!
Thanks Schip!
Kudos from:
boohat
Thank you! This is Wonderful, plus, I love T.S. Eliot so thank you for writing his most famous poem, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. A very sad poem, though.
scribbler
Really great newsletter. One of my biggest pet peeves (along with many) is when the author tells you not shows you. Thanks!
jaya h
I enjoyed reading the newsletter. The tips are helpful and examples make it easy to follow.
Thanks,
Jaya H.
dusktildawn
Me - the Adverb Princess! What a great Newsletter. I definitely learned from it. Thank you so much~!
Thanks to everyone for their input! I love to hear from you! |
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Short Stories: March 29, 2006 Issue [#945]
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