Death of a Mother

Hi, my name is Michelle and I was 16 when I lost my mother Lisa. It was the hardest thing that I've ever been through. At 16 you don't realize how much your mother means to you, you don't worry about anything but the here and now. I've matured now and see what all that I have missed with my mother since her passing and it hurts.

I guess I should start with what happened before she died. She was going through a nasty divorce with her third husband and we had moved yet again. When I started to see some changes in her they were little at first. My mother was always the type to be up and ready for work before time to leave, but all of a sudden it was a fight to get her out of bed.

Two weeks before she died I thought she had had a psychotic break down, she thought that she was a child, I would have to go to school pick up my work for the day, and then rush home so someone would be there with her. She thought that she was 5 years old and that she didn't have to listen to me I wasn't her mother. No I wasn't her mom and I didn't know what to do I was her daughter she was still supposed to be taking care of me.

I tried to get her to go to the doctor, but she would refuse and I couldn't drag a grown adult kicking and screaming to the doctors' office. So I did what I could I didn't leave her side.

Two weeks later I wake up to find my mom, not the little girl that I had been dealing with. I was so excited I thought that everything was going to be just fine, she just needed time. That day she went to work and everything seemed fine so I decided that the next night if all was well I would stay with a friend and go to the homecoming game at school.

Everything went well the next day or so I thought. I had gone to school that day and was planning to stay with a friend so I could attend the game. There I stood in my friends bathroom rollers in my hair when the phone rang. My friends mom said Michelle it's for you. I didn't know what to expect the only person that knew I was there was my mom. I get on the phone and it's my mom's best friend and co-worker she informs me that I need to get to the hospital right away.

I hop in the car and race there. She wasn't awake they were running tests to see what was wrong; I didn't know what to do. Two days later she was gone. I don't remember much of the next few days it seemed to race by.

I still haven't fully recovered I cry a lot, but for the most part I do well. It's been 7 years now and the say it gets easier with time, but I don't find that as true.