The Other Side Of Me

The room fills with the red glow from the light above the Plexiglas window, In fifteen seconds the black sliding door will open and for the next thirty seconds I have to show.

The room is all of 12X12 with a six foot window. There's a day bed across the back wall, a pole in the middle of the room just off center & a half dozen large pillows stacked against the wall.

I put my book down and swing my legs to the side of the bed, Black heels on the floor. I spread my legs, arch my back and turn my head to the side. The red light flashes three times then burns steady as the black door, across the window, slides open.

It's show time.

The music starts to play and so do I. My hand runs down the inside of my thigh, then up my panties. I slip my thumb inside, hooking it to the other side then pulling them, exposing a lingering flash of my bare pussy. Letting go, I run my hands up over my stomach, to my breast. Pushing in then grabbing my bra with both hands, I peel the silky material down, exposing my tits. I run my hands over the chilled flesh, my nipples are hard

~the door closes~

More money will be placed in the slot located in the small room on the other side of the window. If not, the music will stop and the red light will fade to a soft white, but as history shows...

~the door slides open again~

I'm pinching my nipples, twisting them as I pull up and out. I've not yet looked at the face on the other side of the glass, not today, not until the very end...

The music is a little to loud as I push my right tit up to my mouth, my tongue out, licking my nipple...a lil higher and I bite...

{At least its Real music, so unlike the metallic melody that tormented me on the way up here last week. I couldn't figure out where it came from. The stereo was off, windows closed, it was not coming from a car I was passing. There was nothing in the car that would be making a sound like that. I pulled over in a rest stop. Turned my car off and it was still there, got out, walked and yeah; still there.}

Fingers unhooking the bra, letting it slide off as I dance and turn to my left. Hooking my thumbs into the sides of my panties, I bend and pull them down...

{I had put my fingers in my ears and yes, there it was deep in my brain, echoing off the walls of my scull. That metallic melody, something like a child's song. I turn my stereo on, Nickel Back's in the player. I crank up the volume but nothing seems to drowned out that fucking...}

myself with two fingers, while on my knees. My chest to the bed, ass high in the air as...

~the door slides shut~

I don't stop for I know it will be only a moment before the door opens once again. This show is far from being over.

I think of a man I've loved, desired my entire life. We've only been together once really as kids, a few blow jobs later in life. In my mind I fantasize that it's him on the other side of that glass, his amazing eyes on me, devouring me. I keep him in my mind to help drive out what's slowly pushing me over the edge.

~the door slides open~

Thinking of him, on the other side of that glass, pants low around his hips, slowly stroking that sweet cock of his is getting me hot. I rub my juice all over the outside of my smooth pussy, reaching back I allow my fingers to flirt with my ass. I stand up and walk the four or five steps to the pole with my fingers in my mouth, tasting myself. Standing against the pole, legs apart I slide my back down to a squat. Opening myself up with my left hand, I start to rub myself, stopping only to pull on my ring. I keep my head down, turned to the side, knowing I won't see his face and then all is lost, because I'm already, almost gone...

{I'm almost back to where I work, that tune in my head is pushing me to near madness. As I get off of I95 to I 40, I see the ramp as it circles back over 95. I see all the semi trucks coming, I have a sudden urge to hit the accelerator, to take a dive off that ramp, just get air born, the weight of the engine would put me nose first into the highway, right into those oncoming trucks. I feel my foot pressing the gas to the floor, the speedometer climbing steady, then another voice in my already noisy head..."Why would you do that? Someone down there will get hurt" I let up off the accelerator tapping the breaks as I turn my wheel, tires squealing...}

I'm going to cum. I'm thinking about him laying under me, a pillow keeping his head slightly raised. Standing with a black heel on either side of him, I place one heel into his shoulder and rotate my leg out. Two fingers working my pussy, the nectar running down my hand, falling to leave small drops of me to mingle with the beads of sweat forming on his chest...

{Getting thru work that day was difficult. The music gave way to a nagging headache formed by a hundred voices, chattering away. At my home away from home I watched a Seinfeld rerun, with the volume down. Trying to make out one full sentence from all the words running thru my head. I actually yelled "Shut the fuck up". All the voices laughed at me in unison, then went back to the maddening chatter....}

~the door sides shut then a moment later opens once again~

My ass is pressed against the glass, legs spread. My fingers still stroking the folds of my wet cunt. I'm bent over, wishing he was behind me, that it was his fingers stroking me, getting me ready for his stiff cock. Thumb fucking me while his fingers rub my clit. I start to cum then stop myself from letting it end. I imagine his thumb sliding out and stopping just outside. His other hand on my ass, fingers squeezing up, pulling me open as his cock is thrust deep into my pussy. Slamming into me, then being pulled out...

~The door closes~

{I had looked at the prescription bottles on my counter. A single voice rises from the rest, inquiring as to how many xanax I have left? I'm thinking at least twenty five. I have a few anti-inflamitories, a half dozen muscle relaxers, some sinus medication and about four beers left in the fridge...could I keep it all down? I just want the noise in my head to stop. I know these voices, they are my very own demons. Those who never let me forget all I've done, they tell me how I'll never be good enough... a good enough daughter, mom, sister, wife or friend. All that which is painful and buried in the darkest corners of my brain, they remind me of...anytime I have a moment of peace, of happiness...}

I grab a pillow and get on my hands and knees, ass towards the window. As if he's there behind me

~It slides open again~

I rock forward then push back. I feel him fucking me, in the room watching me. I rock my hips, feeling his hands on my ass, as he slaps ...

{How did I get here? Am I even here at all?}...

Then he slaps me again, the burn spreads. I throw my head back and I feel him grab hold of my hair, holding it, pulling it as he fucks me. ...

{I'm thinking how I just want this all to end. I'm so tired. I never feel like I belong...anywhere.}

I want him to be there, sitting behind the window, stroking his cock to me, to who and what I am. I want to be the one who gets him off, who taste him, who gives him what he want's, what he needs; I need...

~The door closes~

him to need me, to need what I have to give...

I look back to my left, I see it sitting on the ledge just below the window. The answer to my pain, to my grief, to my worry and regrets. I feel the burn deep with in me, I'm going to let go, let everything go.

~It opens~

As the waves wash over me and I begin to cum, soaking my thighs and the pillow beneath me...I know I'm going to turn around when I've regained control of the muscles that spasm and throb deep inside of me. I'm going to turn around and if he's there it will be over and if he's not it Will be over and one way or another I will finally have some...peace.

I turn around on my hands and knees. Head down I crawl toward the window...I make a fist around it. Holding it tight. I start to stand...

~The door closes~

I get to my feet, legs shaking. My other hand against the glass. I can hear my heart beating, I feel like I'm breathing...mud. Looking up, I see my reflection in the glass and I barley recognize myself. The face that stares back at me looks panicked and full of anticipation, the eyes wild and alive.

Please...be there, please keep me from this. I look straight ahead...

~The door opens~

I see...... No one worth knowing. I raise my right hand up an over my left shoulder, the cold steel touches near the back of my neck. I stare into his eyes; no ones eyes. I pull hard across my neck, severing the carotid artery, the jugular vein. I barley feel the hot, gushing liquid on my shoulder, running down my chest. I see the fear in that strangers eyes and......smile.

Falling, I turn to see the spray of crimson on the glass, the wall...in that red glow...and I'm so glad it wasn't him on the other side of me.