The Season

The Season

“Well, you see officer,” Dan smiled, “he really isn’t who he says he is.” Dan really hoped he looked and sounded convincing. Truthfully, if someone else had told him what he was telling the policeman, he wouldn't believe it either.

“It all started a couple of days ago. I just got home from work, as I was pulling into the driveway I saw the new next door neighbor outside. My wife is always giving me crap about not being more social, so thinking this would be a good time to make introductions, I decided to go over.”

Dan paused long enough to light a cigarette from the butt of the one he was holding. Taking a deep drag he held it for a few moments.

“Strange thing though,” he said blowing the smoke out forcefully, “I thought the guy was right there in the garage, but when I got there, he had completely disappeared. There wasn’t a door into the house from the garage. There wasn’t a car in the garage either, the only thing in the garage was a chair. Not an ordinary chair either! This was the fanciest recliner I have ever dreamed about let alone seen. All kinds of buttons and dials were inset into one of the armrests.’

Another long drag from the smoldering cigarette set Dan into a fit of coughing, causing him to bend over slightly. Straightening up he took another deep puff, wiping his watery eyes he smiled and shook his head.

“As I was looking the chair over, it popped a little puff of smoke from it’s rear and poof there sat the neighbor. Weird thing was he didn’t exactly look right. I could swear his ears were sticking upwards and his nose was kind of twitchy. He sat there with a basket full of colored eggs on his lap.

"It was a toss up as to who was more surprised. I barely remembered my Karate lessons from high school, but I assumed the stance, I was that scared."

Dan stared up the street for a moment, seeming to see something in the distance. Shaking his head again he tried out his most sincere on the policeman.

"For his part, the guy just looked at me, twitching his nose and shrank back into the chair staring at me. The two of us stared at each other a second, then the guy quick like a bunny, pushed the big red button on the armrest. Poof, there was the puff of smoke and poof he was gone!

So, you see officer,” Dan continued “After I thought about it for awhile, I went home and got my shotgun and came back to wait, rabbit season began today you know.”