Fantasies Upset Me.

At last,
he grabs my hand.
He pulls me outside.
He holds my hand as we walk home to his house.
His parents say hello.
They smile at our clasped fingers.
He carries me upstairs,
down the hall,
into his room
over the threshold,
and lays me on his bed.
My head at the footboard,
he slides next to me.
Cracks a joke
I laugh and smile and gaze into his eyes.
I’m not worried about anything.
He looks back at me,
and at my lips,
and then my neck.
He kisses each with a gentle peck,
almost nonexistent, but extremely warm
He grabs me in his arms and kisses my mouth.
We kiss,
sporadically,
for hours and hours.
Amazement overtakes me.
Oh how fantasies upset me
They aren't for real.
They always lie.
Oh, how it makes me feel.
He has a girlfriend,
and she is not me.
It isn't fair,
the extent I love him.
My eyes turn blurry when I close them.
Rainy and foggy,
the way I wish the world looked all the time.