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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1186405-A-smudge-of-Ashes
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1186405
A place to record random thoughts rolling around in my head
A stab at the goings on in my life now, and an attempt to prove to the benefactor who so graceiously gave me the gift subscription that I will make the most of it.
February 27, 2007 at 10:05pm
February 27, 2007 at 10:05pm
#491064
I got a promotion to a full time spot at work. Just in case, I might have had a few spare moments more then I need....

No, really, I am happy about that.... Just overwhelmed. Like usual. And it looks like I am not going to be able to afford to renew this account, so my writings will have to come down to the free account minimum I guess.

I feel almost as though I squandered the gift that was given me in this account. I am sorry I haven't been able to prove myself more worthy of it. But again, thank you....

I am finally starting to get things in order. Hopefully, It won't be to terribly long before I am better on my feet. In one month and a half I will be completely single. Finally!!!

I think my Ex slashed my roomates tires. That scares me.
February 7, 2007 at 2:22am
February 7, 2007 at 2:22am
#486267
My head hurts, and I can't focus on anymore dumping. My private moment is broken.

That's all.
December 20, 2006 at 1:56am
December 20, 2006 at 1:56am
#476153
I am not sure entirely where I am going with it, however the little bit that is there right now is autobiographical.

I am tired, but my mind won't shut up. I might type up something else tonight .... If I don't I most likely will tomorrow. I have apparently done something to my left eye. Something that causes it to feel as though I still have a contact in it, and to look very pink. I mean yesterday it was red, but then I was wearing contacts, so I did the rare thing and wore my glasses today instead. I don't understand the corrulation but for some reason when I wear my glasses I am the biggest clutz....

I also think I probably look like the biggest dork, which in truth I am, with my typical pigtails and cat eyed glasses, running around in things like th eout fit I wore today, which constisted of a t-shirt I had painted with the words " Warning: may cause fever,euphoria,nausea,hallucainations,sedation,seizures, memory loss,insomnia, anxiety, panic attacks and in extreme cases death " of course all these things apply to me, and my huge jeans with hand painted flames at the bottom.... Who me? No, I am not a dork..........................
December 13, 2006 at 7:17pm
December 13, 2006 at 7:17pm
#474956
I was at work today, of course you say, your there everyday now!

And this Gentleman came with six absoulutley stunning photographs to be matted and framed, Cost was no object and he was color blind so all choices were to be left to me.....

So while I am going over matting options we are talking about the back stories to each of his photographs and talking about his journeys all over the world. We spent an hour getting everything picked up and for the first time I was trully sad to see a customer leave when he left.

I could have listend to him for hours!!!!!! His pictures were so well composed and his level of intelligence was a little above my own, but when he spoke I felt as though he did not look down on me. I don't know what it is but I can't stop thinking about him. I wonder where he lives, what other photographs he has, how he lives his life.....

This is all so strange to me!!!! He is at least twice my age. At least! He has almost served twenty years in the navy.......


If anyone reads this, give me some advice ok?
December 12, 2006 at 8:07pm
December 12, 2006 at 8:07pm
#474736
I am tired.

To know me, is to be aware that one word descriptions such as tired, cold, happy, or hungry are never enough to encompass exactly what I am feeling.

However, this is the closest I have been in a while to one flat emotion. I am so exhausted!! I love my job, but the are working me to the point where by the time I am at home I feel no motivation. The desire to do is there, but the will is not.

I am going top take a nap.... I am supposed to be off on sunday, so if thats the case, I promise lot's of new stuff.

But for the moment pardon me whilst I go slack.
December 10, 2006 at 12:37am
December 10, 2006 at 12:37am
#474182
I have news. I want to present it in a short story. So I will be on writing that soon. I promise. Probably late tomorrow night.
December 5, 2006 at 7:48am
December 5, 2006 at 7:48am
#473181
If you can't bear to look at grammatical or puncuation errors for a few days, then please, don't read my portofolio. I will correct the errors, but right now it is more important that I type the main bodies of my items in the alloted and limited time I have on the computer.

I will go back every couple of days to edit, I promise. However,I will not be going over the grammatics in my blog!!!!! This is not an attack, merely, it is an explanation. I know that it quite possible for me to enjoy someones work in the unrefined and unedited stages, just as much as the finished object. If you are not such a person, then spare yourself the agony of reading my items, because this is myoutlet. I write for pleasure, and to vent.
December 4, 2006 at 8:41am
December 4, 2006 at 8:41am
#472978
Despite the fact that I have been rather ill for some time, I think I am going through perhaps one of the longest lucky streaks I have in a while....

To the person who donated me this gift, thank you. Sincerely, with all my heart, thank you. For enjoying my writing enough to provide me the opurtunity to continue it more expansively, and for while being unaware of it, provideing me a much needed outlet in which to vent.

I have been in a bit of a pit for a while. Going through a divorce from an abusive husband kind of tends to destroy your life for a while... But things are looking up so much now! I start a new job on Tuesday, doing something I am sure I will really enjoy, as it will let me work with my hands and excercise my creativity.

It's nice to be in a more hopeful place. Sometimes, in life all you can control is just how little you can live on, and I think I may have finally gotten to a place where it might not be so required to do so.

This is not coming out at all like I would like for it to.... I am just barely awake and so excited at finding this gift that I felt that I had to post something.... Nevermind that My thoughts are in a jumble and disorganized.... I just reallly wanted to write.

Once more, there are not words enough to tell you, Thank you.


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