Wasteland or Wonderland?

“Hey, you have got your watch back!” Sidney said, adoring its small silver dial.

Julia cried out, “Yes, I got a raise!” and jumped on Sidney.

Sidney shrugged her off. “Wasn’t that due? Five years darling. You have been working too hard for a waitress.”

Julia made a face. “What are you talking about? I live in a one room apartment. I have no boyfriend. I can’t even afford to buy a new watch for myself. I just managed to get this one out from Ruth. He didn’t charge any interest by the way.”

“Yeah? Lucky you.”

“Ya. You know how it is Sid. I need to be happy with smaller things. I have a job and an apartment. And now I can start saving. That is pretty huge for me.”

“You deserve it.”

“That’s right.” “Now that I have some money, I was thinking…do you know anybody who can make these look good?” she said, bringing forward a loose strand of hair.

“Are you for real?”

“Come on. What do you expect? Shall I become Julia Roberts?”

“You can at least do justice to your pretty face,” she snapped.

“If life had gone me justice, I would have done myself justice.”

“Okay okay. Don’t erupt now. I was just saying that if you want to get a guy, then you’ve got to take care of yourself.”

“Can’t a man love me for what I am?”

“You have seen yourself.”

She sighed. “You are right Sidney. There are no such men in real life, but I really do want to have a family. My own family. What is it to have a family?”

“It’s pretty nasty,” Sidney spoke from her experience.

“It must be good,” she carried on, ignoring Sidney’s remark. “There in the lawn our kids will play, and Todd and I will sit in the veranda and watch. Then he will hug me and we will talk for hours, snuggled up against each other.”

“Wake up madam. If the manager catches you daydreaming, he will chuck you out,”
“Thanks for reminding pal.”

“Jule, look, it’s that same guy again.”

Julia didn’t even turn to see. She knew him well enough. He had been coming to the coffee house for the past one week. The first day he said he loved her. The second day he grabbed her hand. The third day he nudged her thigh. The fourth day he stared at her breasts. The fifth day he pinched her behind. The sixth day he tried to hug her. It was the seventh day today.

“The bastard has your table again,” Sidney muttered.

“Don’t worry. Don’t worry,” said Julia as if to herself.

“You should have gone to the cops.”

“Are you crazy? Can I make enemies? What if he gets a bail and budge into my apartment and . . .”

“Okay, then give him a piece of your mind if he dares touch you. Okay?”

“Yes.”

She clenched her fists. Her body became stiff and her face hardened. Keep calm Julia, keep calm. You are not going to throw it all away just because of this guy, she kept telling herself till she reached the table.

“May I take the order?” she said firmly.

“Sure. We are sick of having your coffee and cookies. Do you have something new?” he said playfully while his friends stared at her.

“We have burgers, French fries, cakes . . .”

“But we had all that. I want something new. What have you got?”

“Meat rolls, sandwiches . . .”

“Come on darling, give us something good. Your food tastes like trash. What else can you offer?”

She felt like hitting him hard on the face. Instead, she said, “In Beverages, we have juices, soft drinks . . .”

“I said GOOD. Are you one of those pretty blondes? Now I will have to suggest something.” He turned around and looked at his friends. “Guys, I say I want a kiss.”

Before she knew, his tongue was inside her mouth. She jerked him away with all her strength. He was down on the floor, but there was a grin on his face.

“You son-of-a-bitch,” she screamed out. Now she was kicking him madly. “I will kill you. I-will-kill-you.” Her sandals were thumping his face. “You dog. How dare you.”
It took four guys to force her away. She got fired the next day.


A wasteland. It matched her life. A vast empty space that nobody wanted. She sat there tightly holding her legs between her arms. Careless winds were slowly picking up the wildness of a storm. A tiny rat popped out its nose from the earth in alarm. Its inflated nostrils quivered, picking up the imminent, then dashed down in a flash. Now he will tell his family not to go outside. Even he has a home and a family. 

She thought of her parents. They had cheated her by dying. She strained her memory just to get a glimpse of them, but she met only blankness. They had died before she could keep a picture of them in her mind. Only if I had a wicked aunt or cousins whom I could call my own. Bitter tears rolled down from her eyes.

How will I pay the rent? The immediacy of life wiped away her tears. She looked at her watch. It will get me food for a month. She had already borrowed from Sidney. She took out her purse and counted the money. It was enough to feed her for a month. Those bills seemed to be the most precious thing in the world to her. She tightly clasped them. Will the landlady let me stay? She imagined begging her to let her stay for one more day. She imagined the fat woman throwing all her stuff out. She imagined sleeping on the pavement. A lone tear escaped from her eye. She wiped it with the sleeve of her coat realizing that there was nobody in the world who cared for her tears.

Suddenly, the wind slackened, as if tired by its violent blowing.

“Crying has ruined your beautiful eyes,” a male voice boomed from behind.

She sprang up. “Who is it?”

A tall lean man stood there. He was wearing a black coat with a cut she had never seen before. His brown hair flowed down to the sides of his face, making him look even more attractive.

“Wh….Who are you?”

“Hi. I’m Sean.” He came forward to shake hands.

“Julia,” she said, taking his hand. “How-how did you come here? I didn’t hear any footsteps.”

“Oh! I didn’t want to disturb you, so I tiptoed. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Ah no no. No, it’s all right.”

“I hate to see people cry,” he said sitting down.

“Me too, but…” she shrugged.

“Is it something you can tell me?” he asked, looking into her eyes.

“Hah! You don’t want to hear it,” she said, throwing up her hands.

“How can you say that? I really really do.” He was sitting cross-legged with his hands cupping his face.

“You are looking like a little boy eager to hear a story,” she said, sitting down beside him.

“That won’t distract me ma’am.”

“OK, if you ‘really really’ want to, then listen.”

She briefly told him about her life.

“I know how you feel.”

“You can’t possibly.”

“I can. I had also lost my parents early in life,” he said gloomily.

“Oh! I am sorry.”

“Never mind. It’s been a long time. I hope you are feeling much better now.”

She sighed, then nodded. “So, where are you from?”

He sneezed loudly. “From the neighborhood,” and took out a black handkerchief.

“Really? I never saw you before.”

“Yes. I don’t go out much,” he said rather shyly.

“Ah! Okay.” “What were you doing here? I mean; nobody comes here.”

“I…I come here sometimes. I like vast empty spaces.”

“There are parks,” she said, surprised.

“Yes, there are, there are. But there are people there.”

“Well, it’s not that weird. If I can come here, so can you,” she said, smiling.

“Yes yes.”

“I should get back home now,” she said standing up.

“Listen Julia. Can we…meet here tomorrow? If you don’t mind.”

She looked at him. He was trying hard to hide the blush, but even anybody up in the moon could have seen it.

“All right. See you tomorrow then,” she said and walked away.


The next day, he was already there when she came. He was wearing a smart brown coat, which matched perfectly with his brown hair. She suddenly became conscious of her looks. She tugged away the loose hair and pulled down her blouse to hide the wrinkles.

“You are early,” she said, shaking hands.

“I didn’t want you to wait.” He was grinning hard. 

She smiled.

“Julia, something really strange happened to me when I was coming here.”

“What?”

“Somebody put something into my pocket and ran away.”

“What? A bomb?”

“No. This.”

He brought out a small packet wrapped in a silver paper with a red bow on it.

“I don’t know what to do with it. You take it.”

“You!” She laughed a full-throated laugh. “What is it?”

“Something you will like,” he said, deeply looking at her.

She started to open it.

“Stop! Don’t open it here. Only when you reach home. Okay?”

“All right. I hope it’s not expensive. You shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Why not? It makes me happy.”

She looked at him. Who is this guy? He has come right out of a fairytale. Is he real? She touched his arm. He gently took her hand and held it in his. They sat for hours like that.

“Oh dear! It’s almost six. I have an interview. I should go,” she sprang up on her feet.

“Tomorrow,” Sean said.

“OK. I will see you at the coffee shop. It’s just next to the laundromat,” she screamed out while running. Before stepping out of the wasteland, she turned around to look at him. He wasn’t there. Where has he disappeared? He couldn’t have got out of the wasteland before I did. I ran and his side is much farther away. I will ask him tomorrow.


She pulled away the silver wrapping from the present as soon as she was home. Inside was a red metal box without any markings. She opened the lid. Brilliantly shimmering, huge star-like diamonds were embedded in a gold necklace. She gaped at them. These were real diamonds. She had only seen them in shop windows. Slowly, she took the necklace in her hand. They were hers. She put it on and stood in front of the mirror. The contrast of her shabby clothes and the finely cut diamond necklace reflected. She put it back in the box. This is not for me. I will return it back. You can sell it and pay the rent. No, I can’t. You want to sleep on the pavement? She went silent. But it is his. How can I? “I hope it’s not expensive. You shouldn’t be doing this.” “Why not? It makes me happy.” His words resounded in her mind. He gave it to me so that I could sell it. He knows I am broke. He doesn’t expect me to wear it. I wouldn’t have accepted money from him. She gulped her pride and accepted the excuse.


The next day her purse was heavy with money. She had decided to keep the money for the rent and give back the rest to Sean. She quickly pulled down the only gown she had. That necklace would have gone so well with it. To cover the loss, she put around a scarf. She looked so beautiful after the haircut she had that morning.

“Oh dear! I am getting late. Sean must already be there.” She almost ran to the coffee shop.

But Sean was not there. She waited for an hour. Monstrous questions tortured her all the way back home. Why didn’t he come? Am I being stood up? Maybe he didn’t like me after all. Did something happen to him? Did he get stuck somewhere? Will he never come back? She went to the wasteland the next day to get the answers.


He wasn’t there either. She stood in the middle of the large expanse alone. She had lost it again. Her purse was bulging with money, but there was no Sean. She took out all the bills from her purse.

“Is this the reason why he is not here?” she said aloud. “Is-this-the-reason?” she screamed at the wind. She opened up her palms. The bills flew out of her hands like birds from a cage. She dropped down on her knees. “I love him.”

She felt something soft and wet on her cheeks. “Sean!” she cried out. One kiss had wiped away all her doubts. “Where? Why didn’t you come?”

He was in pain. His face contorted in agony. “Please come and sit Julia. Please,” he said gently.

“You don’t like me,” she said, voicing her worst fear.

“No no. Far from that. You must think that because…yesterday…. First tell me you will never leave me.” His voice was hoarse.

“You know it. I will never leave you.”

“Forgive me please. The truth is that I am not from this world.”

“What do you mean ‘not from this world’.”

“I am from a world which lies parallel to the one you are living in. The way you come to this wasteland, I come to the terrace of a building in my world. I don’t know how it works, but when I go there it transforms into a wasteland and I find myself in your world. The first time it happened to me, I was dazed. Now it feels good. Now I have you,” he said earnestly.

“But how. I mean how can it happen?”

“I don’t know myself.”

They sat there beside each other, deep in thought.

“So you can’t live here permanently?”

“I can live in this wasteland permanently if you bring me food and other things.”

“But you can’t leave the wasteland.”

“Hmm. I fall off the building in my world if I leave it.”

“Can’t I come to your world and live with you?”

“I don’t know how to make you leave your world. I don’t know how it happens?”

She could see he was looking for answers, but there didn’t seem any.

“We can build a house here and you can go out and bring the necessary things. No no, it’s not possible. Sorry,’ he said.

“We will be all right Sean,” she said, taking his hand.

“Everyday I wake up in the morning and think. ‘What if I am not transported to the wasteland today? What if the space closes on me, just as it had opened?’ I can’t lose you Julia. I love you.”

She smiled sadly. “I love you too Sean.”

He bent forward and kissed her.

“Just a minute. I will ask the Controller. I will get back in a minute. Okay? You stay here. It will just take a minute.” Before she could say anything, he disappeared into thin air.

She waited thinking how strange it all was. She couldn’t disbelieve him after she saw him disappear into the air. She loved him after all. What did it matter if he was from some other dimension? He loved her as nobody had ever done before, and she was happy.

He appeared as suddenly as he had disappeared.
“Julia, I talked to him. He told me that if I wanted to leave my world forever and enter into your world, I might…might…lose my memory.”

“What?” She felt paralyzed.

“Yes, he says that I might suffer from total memory loss if I just walk out of my world into yours.”

“It always seemed to good to be true,” she said sadly.

“What? You have given up? I am going to do it!”

“Sean, no. I can’t ruin your life.”

“My life will be ruined without you.”

“I just can’t let you do it,” she said stubbornly.

He took her in his arms and kissed her passionately. “Say that you can live without me.”

She burst into tears. “I can’t, I can’t. But…”

“I MIGHT lose my memory. I MIGHT not.”

“But there are chances.”

“I am ready to take the risk. Come on. Don’t do it to me.”

Julia felt that if she said another word, he might cry.

“When?” she asked.

“Tomorrow. I have to settle some matters in my world.”

She hugged him tightly. “What if you lose your memory?”

“I know you will take care of me.”

She paced her apartment madly. It was time to go to the wasteland. She bowed her head in prayer before leaving. Yes, he was there before her. His face glowed with youth and happiness.

“My dearest,” he said, locking her lips in a kiss.

“Are you sure,” she said in a quivering voice.

“Don’t worry. I will be all right.” He held her hand tightly. “Wait! Before we leave I would like to tell you how wonderful you are and how much I love you. You can never know. You are the most beautiful woman in the world.” He held her tightly in his arms.

“I know how much you love me,” she said, looking into his eyes.

“Let’s go,” he said, leading the way.

They reached the end of the wasteland. He fondly looked at Julia for a while and stepped outside. His face contorted with pain. He closed his eyes tightly. After a few agonizing moments, his face lost all expressions and he dropped down on the ground.

“Sean! Sean! Get up! Get up Sean!” she screamed out. Tears dropped from her eyes on to his face. He opened his eyes.

“Sean! It’s me, Julia!”

He looked at her blankly.

“No! No! Sean! Julia!”

He kept staring at her, as if he didn’t understand her language and emotions. She hid her face in her hands. What have I done to him!

She felt something soft and wet on her hands. She stopped breathing. Sean!

“How pretty you look screaming ‘Sean! Sean!’”

“You wicked man!” she pinched his arm.

He took her in his arms. “I am yours Julia. We made it!”

She hugged him tightly. “I have got a family, and so have you!” she said delightedly, snuggling up to him.