Merry Old England

Merry Old England: The Sucker Punch Of Living In English Society

As I tread the streets of my local grounds, I ponder on how what others see as 'Merry Old England' with rosy cheeked maidens, laughing policemen and Basil Brush can turn into 'Merry Old Tosspot' with fag filled maidens, policemen with too much work to do and Basil Brush. I am a journeyman, taking frequent walks into my village to visit friends and the occational reletive, often stopping by the off-licenses to scrummage a few pennys covered in dust to purchase drinks. And often, I find outside the off-license, the lower-class scum of the universe, Chavs. Yes, Chavs, I came onto this subject first because as a proud Englishman, well, Englishboy to say the least, I would like to see these particular 'Species' extinct. Insted of doing something drastic like adressing people in the streets to find boards with rusty nails in them, I am going to use the only thing that the Chavs dont have and use it against them. Knowlage. I used to go to a school filled with Chavs, and at break times, me and my fellow chav hating companions thought up ways of how we can solve the Great English Chav Epademic. The answer is simple. If the Chavs are so good at fighting, they should be shipped off to the Iraqi war. Pointless War fought by pointless people: Genius on my behalf. I loved that school,
but my parents moved me away from it, for all the right reasons (only one,
and that reason being the chavs.) I go to a school with less people, but not neccerilly less chavs. These ones are particularly annoying, because of the school being a private one, chavs
have rich parents to pay for thier wasted education, so they are bragging about how they are
richer then anyone else, makes me want Roman Abromavich to come to the school and give them
a good battering up. The words 'Battering Up' brought up another subject into mind, the way
chavs have re-invented the dictionary. To tell you the truth, I would rather have an American
dictionary then to have a chavvish one. They sound like Australian Donkeys, 'Eeeyah Mate'
still drones on in my head, aswell as the dreaded knuckle bashing 'Respect'. I had a decent
friend do this out the blue to me once, I could of crawled up in a big ball and cryed my
eyes out. I think I will stick with the Pie and Peas and Videogames then Fags, Booze,
(Pretending to mates they had) Sex and Drugs. Thats probably one of the reasons I always dress
in Black to my parents concern. Apart from being a pain to others, they are a pain to themselves.

Polotics has changed, the current party in No. 10 is the Labour Party. Declaring themselves
'The Future of Britain', they are turning into the Conservative tosspots that last ran the
country. The UK churned out 18th best place to live in the world, and the worst place to
raise your children (Thank you, burburry wearing smutton), while the U.S, under a President
with an I.Q less then a window ledge, got a respecatble 6th. I don't want to be pressed by
nonsencical rants of angry left wingers or be chased down the streets by angry, fat rednecks
who have nothing better to do, so thats why I am Liberal, if you don't want to be a left wing
hippie or a right wing nutjob, just go in between and hope for the best.