Little Altars

Little Altars

I used to take off my shoes
and walk down the aisle
to the altar
when no one was there
and I would
lay down my head
look at the cross
and talk

I need that thing
that takes it all away
that goes above
takes me beyond
let me breathe
let me be
nothing,
anything

And I would walk
past the trees,
the barn,
the fields,
watch the seasons
come and go
know that
so much remained
in the face of a world that changed

I need that thing
that roots me
that connects me
and runs deep
echoes peace
and perseverance
holds steady

I used to light candles
burn incense
play music
lock my door
lay on the floor
write

I need that thing
to push me over
the accepted
dare
me to be honest
form opinion
based on no one

I used to spend so many days
barely sleeping
busy being
someone
somewhere

I need that thing to look forward to
people that
complement
challenge
accept
and include
to be part of something
I want
I like
and laugh
and feel
like a really good version of myself

I would sit barefoot
open senses
knowing things
I couldn’t see

I need that thing
to believe
and imagine
and create
I need to find that thing
I need to get to that place

At one time
I would look in the mirror
utter minor criticisms
but overall know me
and like what I see

I need that thing
that makes me walk sure
like I know where I’m going
who I am
what I’m for

Little altars I let go
or had to leave
they’re what I need.