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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1305957-Wet-Paint
by TPF
Rated: 18+ · Other · Comedy · #1305957
When Missy and Lucky try to paint a room, all hell breaks loose
TPF in "Wet Paint"

Warning, may contain strong language and explicit content, do not read if you are easily offended.


TPF
in
"Wet Paint"



Lucky woke up and glared at the alarm clock, it hadn't gone off yet. She got up and made her side of the bed and then walked over to the window and pulled the blinds up; the sunlight shone through and brightened up the room, making some mysterious hand prints on the wall, visible.
"What the hell", Lucky exclaimed in frustration as she examined the prints. Missy sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Turn off the light", she yelled. "I can't see!" Lucky grabbed a pillow and wacked her on top of the head. "That would be sunlight", Lucky said. "And that means it's time to get your lazy ass up". Missy fell back on the bed. "Do I have to? she whined. -"uh yes?" Lucky said sarcastically. "It's Sunday morning, and you know I've got alot of laundry and left over cleaning from yesterday to do". Missy rolled her eyes and forced herself to sit up. "I hate weekends", she groaned.
"I hate waking up and finding more shit to do", Lucky growled as she pointed to the hand prints on the wall. "Oh my", Missy exclaimed. "Who did that?" Lucky rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. "I don't know", she mocked. "Maybe some of the idiots we live with?"
-"Good grief", Missy sneered. "No need to be a bitch about it". Lucky stood still staring at the wall trying to figure out just what was on it.
"I've told those idiots to stay out of my fucking room", Lucky griped. "And they must not listen", added Missy. "No they don't listen", Lucky shouted. "In fact, none of you ever listen to what I say, am I fucking invisible when I'm talking?" Missy didn't reply, instead she got up and made the bed then walked into the closet to pick out something to wear. Lucky sighed with disbelief. "I'm going to have to stop at the hardware store", she said. -"Huh, why?" Missy asked. Lucky slapped her forehead in disgust. "Because I have to buy some fucking paint to cover this up!"
-"oh", Missy replied softly. "Sometimes I wonder if maybe you belong with those idiots", Lucky shook her head.

Out in the living room, Alley, Willy, Spot, Fluffer, Bee Bee, Todd and Spot were all gathered around the television. Junior was in the kitchen trying to decide which cereal box he wanted, and Gracie was sitting at the counter flipping through the pages of a teen magazine. Suddenly Fluffer saw Junior infront of the pantry and got up and started charging at him. "MY CEREAL", he yelled. Junior winced and got down on all fours, begging Fluffer not to sit on him. Fluffer grabbed all the boxes and started heading back to the couch, when Lucky caught him and stopped him right in his tracks. "You don't need to eat all of that you fat fuck", she snapped. Fluffer looked at her and then back at the pantry, then he dropped all but one box and waddled off. Lucky sighed and bent down to pick up the three boxes he dropped and noticed Junior lying on the floor in fetal position sucking his thumb. "He's gone", Lucky told him. "You're free to choose from one of these three he's left behind". Junior picked a box and walked over to the counter. Lucky stopped and glared at Willy. "You better have a good explaination for the hand prints on my wall", she barked. Willy turned around and looked at her and then back at the t.v. "Well?" Lucky said, standing with one hand on her hip. "Want to tell me what happened in there?" Willy kind of smirked and tried not to laugh. "I don't know, maybe you left your door open? Lucky gritted her teeth and threw a plastic cup at his head. "Bitch, that hurt", Willy cried out. Lucky smiled. "I bet it did, now tell me what happened or I'll throw something ten times more heavier! Willy chortled and pulled a pillow above his head. "What your fat ass?" Lucky reached for a phone book and chucked it in his direction. The phone book ended up bouncing off the pillow and into the wall where it left a dent. "You missed", Willy laughed. Lucky snorted and then grabbed a shoe and threw it, this time hitting him right in the mouth. "Okay, okay", he whined. "Junior told Spot he could go in your room". Lucky raised an eyebrow at him. "Junior told Spot he could go in my room?" -"yeah", Willy replied. "He did, because I heard him". Lucky grunted and then marched towards Junior, her fist clutched tightly. Junior stopped and looked at his angry sister. "D-uh, what did I do" he asked.

-"You know damn well what you did", yelled Lucky. Junior's eyes crossed and his tongue hung out. "Uhhh, nope do not know", he said. "You told Spot he could go in my room , did you not? Lucky yelled again. Junior began to breathe sounding congested as usual. "uh nope, but Willy said we could go in there to have a finger painting contest". Lucky clutched both fists tightly and let out a loud booming scream. "WILLY!!!!!!!!!!!"
The walls shook from the sound of her voice and Willy got up and started to head towards the front door to sneak out. "No, stop right there", Lucky ordered. "I had a feeling you were lying", she snapped. "And why am I not surprised that I was RIGHT? Willy grinned and winked at her. "Oh you must think this is all fun and games huh mister? Lucky snorted. Willy kept grinning. "It's not a game? Damn I thought it was".
-"No, it is not a god damn game", Lucky yelled as she stomped her foot hard on the floor. "Now guess what I have to do?" She said.
and to no surprise Junior replied first. "D-uh, get a new room?" Lucky slapped her forehead hard and gritted her teeth. "No you friggin idiot", she shouted. "I have to go spend fifty dollars on a new bucket of paint, just so I can cover up that shit!"
-"Drama, drama, drama", Alley scoffed. "That is all I ever hear in this house". Lucky glared at Alley. "Shut up, all you do is drink, what are you good for? You're nothing but a damned booze hound". Alley raised her middle finger and flashed it at Lucky. "Maybe a crabby ass like you could use a few dozen drinks", Alley smirked. "Forget you", Lucky yelled. "I'm going to hardware store so I can take care of this crap before I explode". Before any of them could say another word, Lucky went out the front door and slammed it behind her. "Bitch", Willy called out, hoping she heard him and came back to talk more trash. Suddenly, Missy came hopping down the hall trying to get her other boot on. "Did she leave without me? Missy asked. Willy tripped his sister and watched as she hit the floor. "Don't get carpet burn now", he joked. "Oh wait didn't you already get that when you were born? Missy growled and got to her feet, raising a fist to his chin. "Punch me, idiot", he said. "Let's see what an ugly like you has got". Missy lowered her fist and unclutched it; instead she just rolled her eyes at him and headed out the front door to see if the car was still in the drive-way. By the time Missy had gotten out there, Lucky had already pulled out of the drive-way and was getting ready to leave until she saw Missy chasing her down on foot. "Stop", Missy called out. "Wait for me!"

Willy watched through the window as Lucky stopped and Missy got in the car and they both drove off. "Today should be interesting", he smirked. Junior stood beside him looking out the window too, except he was focused on a bug that kept flying around. "What do we have to eat in this dump", Willy said to Junior. Junior looked up at him and shook his head. "Uh, food", he said. "Go get me some munchage", Willy ordered. "And hurry, before I starve to death". Junior nodded and started running to the kitchen pantry where he flung open the door to see what he could find.
Meanwhile, Missy and Lucky were at the hardware store looking at the paint section. Lucky picked up a bucket and looked to see what color it was. "Shimmering pearl", she read on the label. "ooohhh", exclaimed Missy. "Sounds like a fancy color". Lucky nodded. "Yeah, but I'm not sure that's what we need, maybe a pale white or something". Missy picked up a bucket and held it out for Lucky to look at. "This is Sandstone White", Missy read out loud. Lucky thought to herself for a few minutes before deciding she didn't want that color. "That color is probably for stone walls", she suggested. Missy shrugged her shoulders and tossed it back on the shelf, causing a loud disturbance. Lucky folded her arms and gave her a disgusted look. "Sorry", Missy laughed nervously. "How was I supposed to know it would make a lot of noise? Lucky shook her head and started pushing the shopping cart up the isle to another section of paints. Missy scratched her head and started staring at her finger nails. "This berry blizt purple does not look that good in this light". Lucky tried to ignore her sisters stupid topic of conversation and kept searching for the right color. "I mean, look at it", Missy continued. "It almost looks like a grape color instead of berry". Lucky let out an annoyed sigh and looked at her. "We're here to look for paint, not to talk about your god damned fingernails!". Missy was silent and just watched as Lucky looked through the rest of the colors. Soon enough Lucky found a color that looked just right. "Plain White", she read out loud. "Color I was looking for all this time". Missy rolled her eyes. "How plain", she said. Lucky grabbed it and put into the shopping cart, along with some rollers and brushes. "I thought you were only covering up the prints? Missy asked sounding confused. "Well", Lucky started to say. "I was going to just cover up those marks but then I thought to myself, why not just do the whole room?" Missy raised an eyebrow at her sister. "I see", she replied. "I guess that would make sense". -"It makes perfect sense", Lucky added as she started pushing the cart towards the nearest register.

Willy sat on his dark green bean bag chair, playing a game of nintendo while the other stupids watched. He had gotten very far on his game and was boasting about how good he was. "I'm like the god of this game", Willy bragged to the others, who agreed with him. Fluffer sat on his matress quietly and then began feeling underneath his sleeping bag for any chips. "No chips", Fluffer yelled. "I want chips now!" Willy ignored his yelling and kept playing his game. Junior looked back at Fluffer. "Uh stop making rackets", he said. "Willy is trying to win the game so be quiet". Fluffer began to get unpatient and out of control. "NO FOOD NOW ME HUNGRY!!!!!!!" Willy reached back and slapped him across the face. "Shut up, fat ass", He snapped. "I'm trying to concentrate". Junior let out a chortle and looked at Willy. "Orange juice is made from concentating". Willy paused his game and gave Junior a weird look. "I didn't think it was possible for you to be that fucking stupid", he sighed.
Junior laughed and clapped his hands. "Yeah, stop before you hurt yourself", Willy laughed. Suddenly the sound of a car pulling the drive way was heard and Fluffer stood up as fast he could and started yelling. "CHIPS CHIPS CHIPS CHIPS!!!!!" Willy groaned and rolled his eyes. "Will you just shut up? God you're so annoying". Fluffer laughed and started bouncing up and down, causing the ground to shake. "Stop", Willy yelled. Spot suddenly ran over and opened their bedroom door to see who was home; he saw that it was Missy and Lucky back from the store with something shiny in a bag.
"Shiny!" Spot yelled. Lucky noticed him peeking out the door with his casual stupid grin and made sure he didnt come to interfere. "This is not for you", she said. "In fact, you and the other idiots stay away from this paint and my room , you got that?" Spot just stood there with a blank stare. "Beeeeeeee", he shouted. Lucky rolled her eyes and tried to pretend he wasn't there. "Alright, Missy", she started saying. "Go out into the garage and fetch me some plastic, we need to cover the floor in the room so we dont get paint on the carpet". Missy agreed and headed out to the garage when suddenly Church popped up. "What are you two doing?" he asked. - "We're re-painting our bedroom", Missy told him. Church thought for a second. "Interesting, do you know the proper way to do it?" he asked. Missy just stared back in confusion. "uh, you use paint brushes?" she said. "Correct!", Church yelled out loud. "But do you know the proper techniques and balance?" Missy shook her head. "No, I'm afraid I don't". Lucky rolled her eyes and tried to contain her anger. "Well", Church continued. "There is a special way to paint with the brush and roller to insure the most successful results". Lucky started to get annoyed and marched over and grabbed him by the shirt collar. "You know there is also a proper technique to being quiet", she yelled. "It's called shutting the fuck up and letting us do the work ourselves!" Church squinted and looked away from his angry sister, but was still brave enough to apologize. "Sorry", he said. " I didn't mean to make you mad. Lucky released her grip and headed out to the garage to get the plastic herself. "No more fucking interruptions", she shouted. Missy jumped back and rushed out to help her sister before she got even more pissed off.

Meanwhile, Willy heard all the yelling and commotion, and he started laughing out loud. "Man, someone get a damn recorder, this shit is classic!" Junior and the other stupids laughed with him, even though some didnt know what was going on. Fluffer's stomach started to rumble and he placed his hand over it and started whimpering. "My stomach hurts", he cried. Willy just laughed and ignored him. "Maybe because you're too fat?" Fluffer suddenly got quiet and then let out a loud stinky fart. "Ahhh much better", he said with a grin. Willy pulled his shirt up over his nose and tried not to puke. "God damn , what the hell did you eat?" Willy asked, his voice sounding muffled.
Lucky walked through the door carrying part of the plastic, while Missy was at the end, carrying the other half. "This stuff is huge", she complained. "Is all of this really that necessary?" -"uh yes it is", Lucky replied. "I want to make sure not one single drop of paint gets on the carpet". Willy was listening to their conversation with his ear pressed against the door. "God she is too much of a neat freak", he laughed as he kept listening. Lucky and Missy finally got the plastic in the room and began covering the bed and floor. "Is this really going help"? Missy asked not sounding so sure. "Of course", Lucky replied as she pulled the lid off the paint. "It's always worked before, I don't see why it wouldn't this time". Missy stood and watched as Lucky started rolling the paint on the wall, she wanted to make sure that when she started helping she was doing it the right way. Lucky soon noticed that Missy was just standing there. "Uh you can help you know", she said. "That paint brush isnt going to help me by itself now is it?" Missy shook her head and picked up a paint brush. "Nope, guess not", she chuckled nervously.
After a few strokes, Missy stepped back and looked to see if it was okay. "How does that look?" Missy asked. Lucky stopped for a moment and looked at it. "It looks fine, but just make sure you dont get any on the boarder". -"Ah, got it", Missy replied.

Willy had still been playing his game, now getting even further in it; the stupids were still watching him as well but seemed to be curious about what their sisters were doing. "I wish I could paint", Junior said sounding disappointed. "Me too", Fluffer agreed. "I could paint food and eat it!"
Willy felt like reaching behind him to smack his fat brother for sounding like a complete retard. "You're a moron", Willy told Fluffer. "I know", Fluffer replied as he laughed. "No", Willy said. "You're really a fuckin moron". Fluffer didn't know what to say so he just grinned.
Lucky had gotten half a wall painted now and was standing back to make sure it looked right. "Looks good so far", she said as she admired her work. Missy agreed and continued painting her side. "I'm sure we'll have this done by tomarrow", Lucky added. Missy suddenly froze in shock. "By tomarrow", she exclaimed. "I have other things to do too, Lucky", she whined. "I can't spend both days on this painting nonsense". Lucky just shook her head. "We're not going to spend all day, painting", she replied. "We're going to get half done today and do the other half tomarrow". -"Ohhhhhh" Missy exclaimed. "You really had me scared there for a while". "Whatever", Lucky sighed. Soon she put down the roller and took a seat on the bed. "I don't know about you, but I'm hungry" she said. -"Me as well", Missy replied. "I'm starving".
"Well, let's go out and grab a bite to eat then", Lucky suggested. Missy smiled and put down the brush. "Good idea", she said.
Missy and Lucky grabbed their purses and started heading out, forgetting to close the door. Spot heard them talking and noticed as they walked out the front door. "They go bye bye", he laughed. Willy paused his game. "Wait", he said. "Did you just say Missy and Lucky left?" Spot nodded and grinned. "Yep, they go bye bye", he said again. Suddenly Willy had a funny idea, and decided to share it with the others. "As you know our sisters left", he said. "And we all want to have some fun". - "I want paint", Fluffer yelled sounding excited. "Yeah", added Junior. "I want fun too". Willy cracked a smile and looked at them all. "Then boys, let's go paint!"
All of them headed down the hall to the bedroom and Willy noticed the door was open. "They're inviting us right in", he joked. -"D-uh, yeah" , Junior agreed. Willy pushed the door open and took a look at what they had done so far. "White paint?" He said in disgust. "White is plain and boring".

Spot saw the bucket of paint and put his hand down in it and pulled it up slowly. "Look at me", he laughed. Willy looked over at him and chuckled. "Spot", he said. "You've been caught white handed". Spot laughed and stuck his other hand into the bucket and started swishing it all around inside. Fluffer saw it and grinned. "FROSTING", he yelled as he waddled over and grabbed the bucket from under Spot. Fluffer then stuck his finger in the paint and licked it. "NASTY", Fluffer gagged as he dropped the bucket. Spot noticed his hands were still covered in the paint and placed one of them on the wall. "Finger-paint!" he exclaimed in excitment. Willy noticed he could barely see his hand print. "Uh you can hardly see it", Willy said. Then he noticed Fluffer was trying to devour the plastic on the floor and burst out laughing. "You dumb ass, that's plastic and you cant eat it". Disappointed, Fluffer spit it out and wiped his mouth off. "NOTHING TASTE GOOD TODAY", he yelled. Junior dipped his hand into the paint and then slapped Spot's face. Spot laughed and did the same to Junior. Willy noticed and decided to join in the fun. "New game", he announced. "Paint fighting!" Then all of them started slapping eachother, leaving prints on eachother's faces and clothing. Fluffer seemed to have too much fun and picked up the bucket. "You wouldn't", Willy said. But before any of them could say another word, Fluffer flung paint all over them and kept laughing. "OH NO", Fluffer shouted. "MY BAD". Willy wiped the paint off his face and kicked Fluffer on the butt as hard as he could. "Dumb ass", he yelled. Spot noticed the paint on them was starting to dry. "oops", he laughed. "getting crusty". Willy noticed too and freaked out. "Oh shit", he said. "Hurry out to the back yard to rinse off before they get home". Both Willy and the stupids rushed outside and turned on the hose to rinse the paint off them. Pretty soon they were all drenched with water and sharted standing in the sunlight trying to dry off. "Man", Willy said. "I hope we don't get caught". Fluffer laughed even though he began to shiver. "it's cold" he said as his teeth chattered. Willy agreed. "Yeah, it's sunny out but the wind isnt helping". All of sudden Willy noticed that Bee Bee and Todd weren't outside. "Where the fuck-", he started to say. Then he walked into the bedroom and saw them painting the wall. "I said all idiots outside", Willy yelled. "That meant all idiots, even idiots with half a brain like you two". Bee Bee and Todd stopped painting and grinned at him. Willy noticed they painted an entire wall without making mistakes. "Wow", he said. "That's pretty good work for a couple of idiots". Willy decided he and the others would be off the hook if Bee Bee and Todd painted the entire room. "Keep up the good work", Willy praised, even though he was only encouraging it to save his own butt.

Bee Bee and Todd kept painting but suddenly stopped. "No, don't stop", Willy ordered. "Keep painting!" Both of them looked at him and frowned. "Painting boring", Todd said. "A Bee Bee", Bee Bee replied. Willy suddenly heard the front door open and heard Missy laughing. "Shit", he said. He listened as he heard both of them headed to the room and thought of a quick plan. Lucky noticed the door was shut and opened it. "Uh what the fuck do you think you're doing in here? She demanded. Willy winked and pointed to Bee Bee and Todd who still had the brushes in their hands. "Helping you out", Willy said. "Sure you are", Lucky rolled her eyes. -"Uh yeah I am", Willy said trying to convince his sister to believe him. "See"? He said point out the whole wall both stupids painted. Lucky looked at the wall, impressed by their work. "Wow, that is good work there", she said. "I guess you were helping". But then Missy saw the others outside soaking wet. "Why are they wet?" Willy thought to himself real quick. "They were playing with the hose", he explained. "Right", Missy said sarcastically. Lucky noticed there was paint splattered on the back of Willy's shirt. "So Willy", she said. "Does helping us out with our work mean dumping it on yourself?" Willy realized he forgot to rinse the paint off his back and tried to keep a straight face. "Fluffer did it", he said. "I told him to stop it but he wouldnt listen". Lucky rolled her eyes and folded her arms. "I know exactly what went on while we were gone", she said. "You and those other idiots were in here playing around". Willy started laughing. "Fine, fine, we were okay? you happy now? I told you the damn truth, we were bored and tired of you broads having all the fun".
-"Fun, eh?" Lucky said. "If you think what we're doing is fun then maybe we could let you finish the job for us". Willy groaned. "No, I dont want to stand here and paint, that's boring shit". "No". Lucky yelled. "I think that's a good idea, you and the others are going to finish painting this room and Missy and I are going to stand and watch till you're finished. "No", Willy yelled. "Dammit, this was all Junior's idea!" Lucky popped her head out the back door and called the others over. "Get your asses over here front and center, you're going to paint the rest of this room!"

The others dragged their feet on their way back into the room, and then Lucky handed them each a brush. "Start painting", she ordered. Each of them started painting the walls. Fluffer wasn't sure how to paint so he flung the paint on the walls and started smearing it with his hands. "I don't care how you do it", she said. "Just as long as its done". Missy returned to the room with a couple of glasses filled with wine cooler and both of them started drinking it. "Don't we get to drink too?" Willy asked. "Hold on let me think about that", Lucky replied. "Oh the answer is no", she smirked "None of you are drinking or eating until this room is completely covered in paint. "NOOOOOO", Fluffer cried out as he kept smearing the paint. "That's right", Lucky smiled. "You chose to screw around, so now you pay the price". Willy grinned and turned around to face his sister. "Hey Lucky", he grinned. "You like that drink?" Lucky smiled back. "Yes, I do", she replied. "Good", said Willy as he took her cup and flung paint in it. "Drink it now and tell me how it tastes!" Lucky's face turned red with rage and she exploded. "You asshole, just wait till I get a hold of you!!!!!!!" Willy laughed in her face and ran out the back door. "Good", Lucky shouted at him. "You can stay out there". Lucky locked the back door on him and told Missy to go lock the other doors. Missy started running as fast she could, but wasn't fast enough because he got in and tripped her. "oops my bad", he laughed as he ran to his room and slammed the door. "Forget you", Missy screamed as she kicked his door as hard as she could.


© Copyright 2007 TPF (thepetfamily at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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