Spoken Between Us

Years after your sharpness, my life has been great in your absence.

Long ago, I quit thinking about you everyday and wondering why.
I foolishly figured that nightmare had ended, and I would never see you again

Staring back at me is your photograph, with a faded ink announcement.
I dread the coming days

The person I was, the person everyone knew,
vanished along with you.

Now, my apathy returns.
Forgive me if I am not giddy

You were miles away, where I wish you'd stay,
so you wouldn't experience the disdain
on my face.

You ignored the pain that impelled my soul,
the last days we were together.

Your words were distinctly careless.
Our past trivial.

What shifted between us?
It made no difference to you.

As last light fell on you that day,
I remember nothing but your half-hearted smile, and your synthetic laugh.

I listened to my own sorrow,
burying my face into my jacket, crumpled in my arms.

God couldn't have comforted me in those hours,
As I rehashed what was spoken between us

Ask me why I questioned your whereabouts.

Simply;
So I am prepared,
to avoid your eyes,
to avoid the shame.

I don't want to be caught off guard,
and be subject to the pain your presence brings.

I will endure your happiness.
As I grieve the joy you stole from me.

I won't ask you to apologize.
I wouldn't accept it if you did.
I won't ask you to understand.
I know it is beyond you.
I don't expect you to remember or even care.

Forbearing your unwelcome existence now.
I will delight in your leaving