Indecision

How did I let myself fall this deep?
How did I let it get this bad?
Lost and confused
Wandering endlessly in this darkness.
Wanting only to be free.
No longer living
No longer loving
Only dreaming.
When will this dream end?
An escapable nightmare
Always lingering overhead.
Living for the present,
Loving silently in my heart.
Where do I go from here?
Is there a way to start over?
Or is it too late?
I want to love again,
I want to trust again,
But my shattered heart won't let me.
Alone drowning in my solitude,
Gasping for air,
I'll always be.
Loving for the present,
Living for the future.