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Rated: E · Monologue · Emotional · #1344293
About emotions and feelings.
When you try to run from something deliberately, all the forces collate & conspire to make sure that it blocks your attention even more than it used to ever before… you can’t ignore it, you can’t snub it off, it just won’t leave you alone…. Trust me, there’s nothing tackier than unwillingly holding on to something after you are firmly decided on letting it go forever…

They say that if you admire a person and your feeling is not reciprocated then you should be content about the fact that it grew in you… but I disagree… its more like an excuse to get rid of that sense of rejection that grows deep down… its not about developing a complex that you are inferior in some way, but that the other person does not find you good enough… and then you end up saying, “maybe, I am just too good for him”… Crap!!

Every time you see that person or you are with that person, even when you just think about him… you always wonder… “What’s wrong with me??” You wish that maybe someday he will find his happiness in you… someday, he will come back and say all the things you want to hear… and that’s what you call “living in the bubble” in its truest sense… you don’t want to come out of the bubble and face reality because its just too harsh for you… you start feeling secure in that bubble… and when it evaporates… you get hurt like never before… so that’s when you try to lose touch with the person so that slowly and steadily the thoughts will vanish… out of sight, out of mind kind of thing… but what do you do if staying away is not possible b/c of N number of reasons… here’s what you do..

You play it by the day… you behave normally as you have been, you don’t let the person get slightest hint about how you feel, you bundle up and hide the sentiment in some corner of your conscience and every now and then you sneak inside, just to check as to how’s it doing… is it dead? If not then how long will it survive?  And in the whole process, you kill yourself…. Painfully… ounce-by-ounce… and not just you, your dreams and your essence die too…

Am not saying that it’s the other person’s fault… not at all… but is it yours??

People say when you love someone, you should not set any expectations, but I ask… being a human, is it practically plausible not to expect?? Isn’t it quite natural to imagine everything to be perfect in first go… simply flawless…


How uncomplicated everything would have been if you could just wipe out the dream as effortlessly as you once painted it… undo the whole situation to make it simpler for you to live with precisely the same world as it was before your heart got ripped… huh!!

I know, I sound so negative… but that’s how I feel right now…

Maybe they should allow only happy endings in real life as well…
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