On my own

To me, my voice seemed so distant. So unwelcome in this place. No matter where I looked, I was always surrounded by people I thought I knew, or were once known to me. But, not one of them knew me. Had they forgotten me while I was away, letting their memories of me slide? I don't know. I was a wreck. A total wreck ready to jump off the edge. This world had been so unkind to me, had taken my life and played with it like it was a lump of clay. I had been hurt, I had been loved. But now, I was on my own. I had no one, and nothing to take of me.

I look up to stare at the metal ceiling that was above me. It had probably had a more interesting, meaningful life than I had. I lifted my hand to stare at the meaningless design on it. The lines crossed and intersected but never met. How was that possible? Maybe God had made us complicated, just so he could have more fun with us. I'm not perfect. In fact, I was probably one of his biggest screw ups. I was a total mess. But I'm getting off topic aren't I?

I'm Elizabeth. I'm thirteen years old, and well, it was supposed to be my birthday, but I think I died on the way to a party. Daddy was in the front seat driving, and I was in the seat next to him and we were arguing. I don't remember about what though. All I know was that daddy swerved suddenly, and then, everything went dark like on a movie screen at the end. I woke up here, except that I don't know where HERE is exactly. Probably a hospital. The thing I'm laying on, I think it's a gurney, is hard and cold. I dislike it a lot. I can hear voices next to me, but I can't respond. I wonder why.

"I'm sorry but, your daughter is dead. She... Died at impact."

Their voices were slurred. But I could hear that. 'I'm dead?' I think to myself. Well, who else was there to think it too?

I hear daddy's sobbing voice, as he cries to the doctor, or whoever was in there. "We were on the way to her surprise birthday party, and we were arguing. I hadn't been paying attention the road, and an animal of some sort jumped in front of the car, and I swerved to miss it, but I didn't notice the other vehicle. We collided and I tried to save her but... It was too late I guess."

'It's alright daddy. Please don't cry! See here! I'm still alive. Can't you hear me daddy? I'm calling to you! Please oh please answer me daddy!' I try and call out to him but, as I expected. He can't hear me. No one can. 'I'll be burning in hell.' I thought to myself again, arguing with myself. I'd done such horrible things to daddy while I was alive. Now, this was my punishment.

Suddenly, there was another voice in the room. This time, a woman's. She sounds young, beautiful, angelic. Her warm hands make their way across my cold skin. She, like daddy, was crying. This must have been mother. Mother would hear me. Wouldn't she?

'Mother? Mother can you hear me? Daddy can't. Are you all deaf? I'm calling out to you but you don't answer. Why?' It's useless. Maybe I am just an abomination to mankind. The world is so much better off without me. At least, that's what I think. Well, now I'm on my own. I'll get to heaven or hell somehow.

My eyes shut out the last of the light as the doctor/nurse closes my eyes. Now, I rest peacefully in a world where pain no longer exists.