Marriage is Not Overrated

Marriage is not Overrated.
It is not a club.
It is not what I expected it to be.
It is not with who I expected it to be.
But it is everything I wanted it to be and knew I couldn't have... then.

Perspective is key to understanding. I looked at my boyfriend and saw everything I wanted him to be, and not what he already was. If I would have truly understood God's beautiful design for marriage, there would have been no reason for that rant. My parents should have fed me to the dogs, I deserved it... and I know now that he deserved to be eaten slowest of all.

I'm actually not married, yet. I am, however, engaged, and it's almost there but doesn't quite count. How do I know? Because I finally accepted the terms and conditions of purchasing a husband from the creator of marriage Himself.

No commitment, no relationship.
No relationship, nothing to be faithful to.
No faithfulness, no trust.
No trust, no love.
No love, no marriage.

Commitment is not marriage. But it's a key factor.
A relationship isn't marriage, no matter how much one person might want it to be. But it's a key factor.
Faithfulness does not induce marriage. But it's a key factor.
Trust is not an indicator of a mate's chances of being a good spouse. But it's a key factor.
Love is not an indicator of reality, folks. But for marriage, it always helps. And it's a key factor.

No sex. No exclusion of family. No exclusion of friends. No exclusion of one of the participators of the relationship, for goodness sake! No glamorization, no faking it, no loving the past and not the future, no leaving. Communication, faithfulness, trust, faith in the same beliefs, inclusion in everything, even the boring, mundane aspects of life. It does not happen when two people decide they are married. It happens when two people come before God and share together that union that can only be felt spiritually. The details are unimportant. My ring did not cost half a down payment on a house. If that were the case, we'd be living in a hotel somewhere. He won't be pulling a garter off my leg. The pastor can pronounce my name, AND his... what a bonus! There will be traditions and Dance Dance Revolution, there will be laughter and committing and probably some cold feet. But the feet will finally be standing there, a much stronger man than the one that two years ago slept with another woman while saving for a ring that probably never existed.

And it's not married people who suck, for the record. If the married people in your life are looking at you funny, it's probably because you're with one of the many men they long ago learned to watch out for. Hell, you may have married them already and married people STILL look at you funny. However, once you're in an all the way, wedding dress in the bag, ring on the finger, house payment and child bearing time looming in the near horizon, committed relationship, all of a sudden you have the ability to see through the shallow relationships of the past and see a whole new set of rules to the game. And it'll all finally make sense.

When you get to that point, when you'd rather hang out with married people and ditch the monotonous, painful, lonely, crappy, one-relationship-after-another single life...

... I'll be happy to welcome you to the club.